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You know, it's been too long since we talked about
how to get a woman's email address and phone number
quickly after meeting her.
I thought it might be time to have another conversation
about it, and give you some more great ideas...
THE CHALLENGE...
I can still remember exactly what it was like before
I learned some of the secrets of how to meet women.
I have very clear memories of women that I saw
literally YEARS ago who I wanted to meet... but I
just didn't know what to do or how to do it.
In some of the cases, I was actually talking to
the girl, enjoying a conversation... and REALLY wanting
to ask her for her number... but I just didn't do
it.
But WHY?
Why didn't I just say "Hey, give me your number?"
The fact is that I was AFRAID.
I was afraid that I'd say the wrong thing, or that
the woman I was talking to would say "no", or that
I'd offend her... or whatever.
At the time, I always assumed that this was some
kind of strange curse that I had. I was afraid of
women, and didn't know what to say to them, and I
was ALONE.
In other words, I not only felt like I had a SERIOUS
insecurity issue and fear, but even WORSE, I didn't
feel like I could TELL anyone about it... or get help.
I felt like a dork if I even MENTIONED the topic
to other guys... as if even talking about it made it
clear that I was a loser who didn't deserve even an
answer.
So here I was, over and over again, in situations
where I would see women I wanted to meet... but I
just didn't know what to do.
And I didn't know what would happen if I DID do
something. I was afraid of the unknown.
Eventually, this led me to believe that there was
probably something wrong with ME that I should just
accept and deal with... and that I'd probably wind
up either alone or having to settle for a relationship
with a woman I wasn't attracted to.
Ever been there?
THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION...
Well, when I finally made the decision to learn
about how to meet women on MY terms, I made it my
goal to learn how to get women's phone numbers.
I "naturally" assumed that if I was able to get
a woman's number, that would be the key. That was
the "hard part" to me. If I could approach women and
get their numbers quickly, I thought I would be
"The Man".
So I went to work.
Here's what I learned...
To begin with, I learned that most women will respond
somewhere between "neutral" and "positive" to being
"approached" by a man.
Explained differently, out of the hundreds and
hundreds of times that I've started conversations
with women and seen my friends start conversations
with women, I have VERY, VERY rarely seen a woman
respond by getting upset, saying something rude, or
acting offended.
The typical worst case scenario is a woman not
even stopping and just walking away, or responding
coldly.
And like I said, this is a typical WORST case.
Another important lesson that I learned is that
when a woman responds in a way that is something other
than positive and receptive, it's usually about HER,
not about ME. In other words, either she's not a nice
person, she's not available, she's in a hurry, she's
in a bad mood, or whatever... things that aren't within
my control, and that aren't my fault (or problem).
I also realized that I was CAUSING a major problem
for myself without even realizing it...
I used to have this idea that it would be better
if a woman didn't think that I was "interested" in
her. I thought that if I could figure out a way to
start a conversation and make her like me because
I was a "nice guy", then I could somehow get her to
see me in a "more romantic" light later on.
HUGE MISTAKE.
Little did I know, but women ASSUME that you're
interested in MORE than friendship from the very beginning,
no matter WHAT you do or say.
So when you try to act all innocent and friendly,
like you just want to be friends, women usually assume
that you're HIDING something, or that you're just
another major Wuss Boy...
This is a bad thing.
I learned that it is FAR better to make no excuses
at all and NEVER try to cover up the fact that you're
approaching her.
Later on, as you're talking to her over tea or
coffee, and you're teasing her, making fun of her,
and busting on her, SHE'LL start to wonder on her
own what the hell is going on... which is perfect.
In the beginning, just be damn good at what you're
doing... and don't try to cover it up or pretend.
Pretending that you're a nice, friendly guy who's
only starting an innocent conversation is a direct
express route to an evening of self touching.
THE GOODS...
OK, so here are a few pointers and updates:
1) It's OK To Ask Immediately...
It STILL amazes me that a woman will give her phone
number and/or email address to a guy after only a
minute or two of conversation. But it's true.
If you act cool about it, so will she.
Do this: After talking for a minute or two, say
"I'm going to get back to my friends" (Or whatever
you were doing), and then turn away from her and begin
to leave.
If you're getting ready to actually LEAVE the place
where you are (say you're at a bar, and you're getting
ready to go home or go somewhere else), it's even
BETTER.
In that case, say "We're going to leave... it was
nice talking to you"... then turn away.
Now, just after you break eye contact and turn
away, TURN BACK and say "Hey!"
She'll look back up, and be surprised...
2) Start With Something "Low Risk"
...as she looks up, ask "Do you have email?" in
a calm, normal tone of voice.
When she says "Yes", say "Great, give it to me,
I'd like to talk to you again".
Then pull out a pen, and hand it to her.
As she's writing down her email address, just as
she writes the @ symbol (in other words, in the middle),
say "...and write your number there too...".
Finally, tell her to write her name down as well.
Why do it this way?
Good question.
-At first you're asking "Do you HAVE email?" This
is a no-brainer. If she does (and most women do),
she'll say "Yes". You're just treating the "yes" as
if she said "Yes, I'll give it to you...". It's a
smooth, easy way to ask a "low risk" question, and
have a woman be the MOST likely to give you her
information.
-Email is considered "safe". I mean, what are you
going to do, send her 100 emails a day? Ooooohhh,
scary.
-You're waiting until she's actually in the MIDDLE
of writing down her email for you to ask her to also
write her number down. This makes it FAR more likely
that she'll give you her number. At this point she's
already demonstrating to you and her that she's OK
with you contacting her again... and since she's ALREADY
writing, she's very likely to just KEEP writing...
her number.
3) The "Do You Have A Card" Variation
You can also ask "Do you have a card?" if you choose.
This is a classy, low risk way to ask a woman for
her contact information.
Now, a lot of women DO NOT have cards, so you're
going to need the follow-up for when she says "No,
I don't have one on me"... which is "Well, invent
one for me!".
This is funny, charming, and smooth.
Just take out a pen, and hand it to her.
She'll know what to do.
4) Be Ready
Probably half to two thirds of the time, a woman
will just write down her email for you.
It's AMAZING how easily women will give out their
email addresses.
But sometimes you'll meet with resistance.
I can't go into all of the millions of possible
scenarios, but I will talk about the most COMMON one.
Probably a quarter of the time, a woman will say
something like "I don't give out my email to people
I don't know" or "I don't even know you" etc.
This one used to REALLY stump me... until I found
a simple solution...
Here it is: Just point to the paper, and say "Write
it down".
If she keeps resisting, make a joke.
Say "It's OK, just write it down. I'll only email
you every five minutes for the next month."
The SIMPLE "Write it down" works wonders.
You'll probably overcome HALF of the "I don't give
out my email/number" comments with this one simple
answer. Use it.
5) Mentally Rehearse
One of the greatest investments you can make in
yourself is MENTAL REHEARSAL.
Take some time to imagine exactly what it's going
to be like when you ask a woman for her email/number.
Close your eyes, and picture a situation.
Imagine how you're going to be standing, what you're
going to say, what she's going to say, how you're
going to take out the pen and hand it to her, how
you're going to answer any objections that she gives
you.
Don't wait until you're in the situation to realize
that you don't know how to handle something!
You'll realize all kinds of great stuff when you
mentally rehearse.
You'll be vividly imagining a great conversation,
then you'll get to the part where you ask "Do you have
email?" and she says "Yes", and you say "Great, give
it to me, I'd like to talk to you again..." and as
you mentally put your hand in your pocket you'll realize
that you don't usually carry a pen with you!
Or you'll realize that you don't carry paper with
you.
Or you'll realize that your pen is usually in your
jacket, which is usually on the back of your chair,
and not with you at the bar.
When you mentally rehearse, you program yourself
for success. Do it!
6) Don't Sell Too Far In Advance
This is SUCH an important concept. Maybe even the
most important thing I'm going to say.
When you're getting a woman's email and number,
DO NOT try to convince her to marry you on the spot!
Don't "ask her out".
Don't tell her that your mom is going to love her.
Don't ask typical stupid questions like "Do you
have a boyfriend"... and make it seem like you're
qualifying her for marriage.
No no nooooo!
As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing you want to
do is get her information.
Many guys make the mistake of talking about going
out on a date, being interested, etc. or tipping the
woman off in some way that he's VERY interested in
her.
This creates pressure and resistance. There's ZERO
mystery or tension created when you do this stuff.
All you have to say is "I'd like to talk to you
again". That's enough.
And by the way, when you DO talk to her again,
make sure you avoid the same mistake! Don't talk future
and relationship and marriage then either.
Just take things to the next step, which should
be a simple thing like "Tea and stimulating conversation".
One small step at a time, and don't sell too far
in advance... ever. It only creates resistance and
nervousness on the part of the woman when you hint
that you're "interested" in a big way.
So there you go... you've now learned how to get
a woman's email and number within minutes of first
meeting her.
Use this stuff, it's taken me YEARS to figure it
all out...
And if you'd like to know what to do AFTER you
get her email and number, I have some advice for you.
Check out my Advanced Dating Techniques Series.
Remember at the beginning of this email when I
mentioned that I originally thought to myself that
if I could get a woman's number fast, I would be
"the man"?
Well, I quickly learned that there is A LOT more
to this than just being able to get numbers fast (although
being able to get a woman's number in 2 or 3 minutes
doesn't exactly suck)...
There are many steps between first meeting a woman
and getting her to feel a POWERFUL GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION
for you... and between her feeling that attraction
and the two of you "getting physical".
If you know all the steps, and how this all works
it will likely go very smoothly and naturally. If you
DON'T know all the steps, it will likely NOT go smoothly
AT ALL, and you'll run into more problems than you
can imagine.
That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques program
comes in...
You will get over 12 solid hours of digital video
and/or audio of me teaching everything from the ground
up on how to take things all the way from beginning
to end... from the first meeting through the first
date...all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.
You'll learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs
about women... how to eliminate your fears of talking
to women... how to make women feel ATTRACTION for
you, even if you don't have money or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in order
to start meeting and dating more women IMMEDIATELY.
The best part?
You have ZERO risk.
I'll send the program to you... and you can try
it for a month. If you don't like it, just send it
back and you don't have to pay.
Isn't that the way it SHOULD be?
All the details, and some great audio and video
samples are here... check it out:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/AdvancedSeries/
....and if you STILL haven't downloaded your copy of
my original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need
to do that now. It's jam packed with dozens and dozens
of my personal techniques for meeting and dating women,
and it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that
aren't available anywhere else. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/eBook/
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
