多少年来，大家一直都是在当学生写作文，今天就换一个角色，当一回老师判作文，这可绝非仅仅寻求感觉的刺激！最重要的是，我们要用上面讲的高分作文的评判标准和差作文的劣迹表现，分别对2005年漫画考题的高、低分实考样卷进行评判打分，然后“对症下药”、“量体裁衣”，才有出奇的效果啊！
一、2005年考研作文：
Part A
Directions:
Two months ago you got a job as an editor for the magazine Designs & Fashions. But now you find that the work is not what you expected. You decide to quit. Write a letter to your boss, Mr. Wang, telling him your decision, stating your reason(s), and making an apology.
Write your letter with no less than 100 words. Write it neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter; use “Li Ming”instead.
You do not need to write the address. (10 points)
Part B
Directions:
Write an essay of 160－200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should first describe the drawing, then interpret its meaning, and give your comment on it.
You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
图片
养老“足球赛”
Part A高分作文实例：
Dear Mr. Wang,
Thanks a lot for the job opportunity you have offered me, but after two months’ work as an editor for your magazine, I have realized that the job is not quite suitable to me. So I have to dropit .
This is mainly because I specialized in computer science at university. Although my dream is to be an editor, I find it tough to cope with my present job without much knowledge about fashions. What I have learned can be of little help to my work. I’d like to find something more closely related to my major.
I’m awfully sorry to make this decision. A more qualified editor, I believe, will make a greater contribution to your magazine. Thank you for your time.
Respectfully yours,
Li Ming（131字）
点评：该文在2005年考研阅卷中得满分10分的好成绩，其原因是该短文很好地完成了试题规定的任务。其特点是：信息点覆盖完整；内容组织逻辑严谨；语言使用准确；格式和语域（指在书面和口语表达中根据不同的交际对象，所采用的话语方式，即正式、一般、非正式的话语。）恰当；对语法结构和词汇进行了有效的调整，并使其多样化；虽在作文中使用了提示语中出现过的关键词，但采取了近义释义的手段，避免了死板硬套的嫌疑。
Part A低分作文实例：
Dear Mr. Wang,
I write this letter to apologize.
I was appreciate for you to offer a place to me, but I can’t get it.
Two months ago, I have gone to your company to apply for the editor for the magazine Designs & Fashions. You are kind, and have a good heart.You gave me a chance and accepted me. After two months’ thinking, I decided to quit. Because I specialized in advertisement, I can’t get good along with the edition working. I just left the school for working, so I want to use my knowledge to the right place.
Thanks for the same!
Yours sincerely
Li Ming（130字）
点评：这篇短文得分5分，属不及格成绩，虽然字数与上篇短文相当，但语法结构错误较多（如：划线部分）；用词不当现象时有发生（如：黑体部分）；并有一些无关内容出现（如：斜体部分）；
部分错误提示：
write应改为：am writing
have gone应改为：went
get good along应改为：get well along
apply for the editor应改为：apply for the place as an editor
the edition working应改为：the work of editing
for working应改为：and take up working
for the same应改为： all (just) the same
PartB高分作文实例：
What a thought–provoking drawing it is! A serious social problem concerning old people in Chinais being described vividly. As depicted in the drawing, three sons and a daughter are just standing before four goals, kicking their old father awayas a football. It clearly reveals that, after they become independent, some people will hardly care about their fathers and mother sany longer, and refer to them as a burden.
It is widely acknowledged that taking care of one’s own parents is one of the main virtues
in Chinese traditional culture. Everyone of us should cherish this virtue. However, to our disappointment, with the improving of people’s living standard, they seem to have forgotten it. Now and then. we may read in the newspaper that some old men died of disease in street, not because their sons or daughters are not rich enough to provide for them, just because they discarded them. Can’t we do something to reverse this trend?
The answer is definitely yes. Fortunately, this serious social problem has been taken into account by our governmental departments and the public. Such measures as legal provisions and social education activities have been put forward. As a result, we have witnessed some improvements on this respect recent years. Only when all of us respect and take care of all old people can this problem be resolved thoroughly, and can our society be a better one.（236字）
点评：该文在2005年考研阅卷中得满分18分(满分20分)的好成绩，其原因是该短文很好地完成了试题规定的任务。包含了所有内容要点；使用了丰富的语法结构和词汇；语言自然流畅，语法错误极少；有效地采用了多种衔接手法，文字连贯，层次清晰；对目标读者完全产生了预期的效果。
部分闪光点提示：
★语法句式的多样化：
1.As depictedin the drawing, …（as非限定定语从句的省略式）
2.hardly …any longer（否定句）
3.refer …as…（as复合结构）
4.It is widely acknowledged…（it引导的被动体、形式主语及主语从句）
5.Only when …can ….（Only引导的强调性倒装句）
6. thoughtprovoking, concerning, kicking, shown, depicted(非谓语动词)
★衔接手法的妙用：
1.not because …, just because …
2. as a result
3. fortunately
4. now and then
5. however
★优秀词汇：depict, acknowledge, resolve, witness, cherish等。
★优秀短语：put forward, legal provisions,as a burden, to our disappointment, provide for, on this respect等。
PartB低分作文实例：
What are they doing in the picture? Three sons and a daughter are kicking the old father just like a football.
Sudenly, I understand the mean. A father have four children. He worked hard to rise them up, hoped that one day they all grow up. And the day coming.
But what the father never thought is that the four children who have being grown up all hate to live with him. They all don’t want to have him in their own home.
Why this happened, the father thought. When he was young, people told him that “more children, more happiness”. But where his happiness go now?
It tell us that more children doesn’t mean more happiness. If you educate you children to treat well to parents and give them a good example, one child is enough. Or you will just like the father in the picture when you get old.
Maybe the four children of the old father all thought that without themself their old father can live too, because he has other three children.
It also made you to think about ourself. Do you treat your parents well or them just like the four children.
So if you are parents be sure to educate your children and give them a good example. If you are children don’t kick your parents, be good to them. Don’t play that “family football” game.(231字)
点评：该篇作文在2005年考研阅卷中得６分(满分20分)的成绩，远远未达到12分的及格成绩，其原因是该短文未能很好地完成试题规定的任务。虽然自数与上篇短文相当，但有较多语法结构（如：划线部分）或词汇方面的错误（如：黑体部分），影响了对写作内容的理解；用词不当现象时有发生；并有一些常见词汇出现了拼写错误（如：斜体部分）；语法结构单调、词汇项目有限；未采用恰当的衔接手法，内容缺少连贯性。
部分错误提示：
rise them up应改为：bring them up or raise them
sudenly应改为：suddenly
thought应改为：thought of
tell应改为：tells
go应改为：goes
coming应改为：has come
to treat well to their parents应改为：to treat their parents well
Or you will just like thefather应改为：Or you will be just like thefather
other three children应改为three other children
themself应改为：themselves
ourself应改为：ourselves
So if you are parents be sure to educate your children应改为：So if you are parents, be sure to educate your children
二、2004年考研作文
Directions:
Study the following drawing carefully and write an essay in which you should
1) describe the drawing,
2) interpret its meaning, and
3) support your view with example.
You should write about 200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
高分作文实例：
The cartoon depicts a vivid picture in which an athlete, dripping sweat, is rushing to the end. Obviously, he wins the match, but this is not the key message conveyed by the picture. The most striking feature of the drawing is that the same line is marked as both “the start” and “the end”, which indicates that although the athlete came to the finish, a new race is waiting for him.
The idea conveyed by the cartoon is apparent: the end is a new start. It is widely accepted that we should not be satisfied with the present achievement, for nowadays new challenges and competition never stop. The market economy and competitive society drives many people studying hard for higher academic degrees, some of them even seeking the opportunities to study abroad. We should spare no efforts improving ourselves, master high technology and professional skills. Then we can make use of it to devote ourselves to society.
Take my father as an example. He was denied higher education for historical reasons. But by self–study he became a technician in a factory. Many people thought he was content. But he never stopped studying. He took courses of law in his spare time. Later he became a lawyer.”The finishing point is just a new starting point”, he said to me.（219 words）
点评：该文在2004年的考研阅卷中获得18分（满分20分）的好成绩，是有原因的。内容切题，表达清楚，语义连贯，最大的特点是句式富有变化，基本功扎实。文章的第一句，作者就用了定语从句、分词结构两种形式，使阅卷人眼前一亮，接下来分析图画的寓意，也很简洁到位。最后一段的举例也是一个亮点，运用父亲不断学习的事例来进一步论证观点，具体而贴切，不落俗套。另外，句子结构和用词正确，但也有个别错误，如上文第二段标出的“master”与“improve”并列，应用“mastering”的形式，但毕竟“瑕不掩瑜”。
低分作文实例：
The place of end point is also the starting point. From the picture, we can see a young man who is running toward the end point, it’s very clearly to show that every one of us must effort and can’t stop for the aim of us in the fierce competition society. As we all know, firstly, a young man who study and work in the modern society need have a spirit of to study hard and activity, to keep a good situation and position.
For instance, this year is my ninth year after when I graduated, after nine years, I’m always felling need to continue study to improve my knowledge of major. because, this society developing is so rapidly, if I can’t catch more knowledge of now about my major, I will can’t keep the continous developing society. So I think, personally, It’s like the sportman of the picture that only continue to run and effort toward the place of end point, that is necessary to young people in the society.
In summary, my final conclusion is only to continue running toward end place and the place is also a new stating for another aim, only so. It’s a spirit of all young people. although the road is very hardship. but this is very important to us. (216 words)
点评：这篇文章得分6分，远远低于及格分12分，可能作者还有点“委屈”，“我的字数也符合要求，也是三段，也有举例，也有分析，为什么这么不公平呢？”其实，文章虽然基本包括了题目所要求的内容，但条理不清，语言错误很多，其中很多是严重的错误，如文中用黑体标记出的地方。
怎么样？通过对2004年漫画考题的高、低分实考样卷进行研读，你是不是对自己的作文档次有了一个初步的估计？对自己今后在写作方面的发展方向有了一个清楚的认识？能做到这一点，你今天的学习就达标了。