To be frank, when I read the article---“when death draws near” written by Jenny for the first time, I did think it was a little impractical since actually it is impossible for anyone to know the exact time when he or she will die. Furthermore it was really a little cruel for someone to make her/his final decision when facing the death. I am not sure whether it is right or not but it is really my true feeling.
I still remember that when I was still a trainee one year ago I saw one of my patients die in front of me for the first time. Although we had taken all kinds of possible measures and tried our best, we failed to save her in the end---a only thirty years old lady. When I saw her little daughter (only two years old) crying and asking her father why mum always slept and didn’t speak to her, I couldn’t help crying too. I felt myself so useless and incompetent. Although we have studied and researched for a long time, there are still so many diseases that we are unable to cure. It is really so sad that we can’t do anything helpful when seeing patients dying in front of us. Perhaps some people would think that doctors may be insensitive when facing death since death is a so common phenomenon in the hospital. However, as to me, I was really so reluctant to see the death in front of me which would always make me sad and weak. I know exactly that death can’t be avoided by anyone, but whenever I saw my patients die and the relatives cry bitterly or weep with grief beside, I can’t control my sad feeling at all. Sometimes the relatives even made comfort to me on the contrary. I am really so sorry about my cowardice and uselessness…
To be frank, I have never thought of this kind of problem seriously before, maybe I always escape it and always think it is meaningless to do that. But after reading the moving article of Jenny---“my 73 hours” today, my heart was greatly touched. I am really so moved by Jenny’s courage, optimism and dream. I feel so ashamed…
If the death really drew near and there were only 73 hours left for me, what would I do?
I think it over and over but I am still not so clear. I don’t know whether I can control myself when that day really came. Maybe I could still keep reason or I would lose my heart actually. I am not sure indeed…I did miss my dearest parents so much that I was unwilling to leave them. I had promised to bring them traveling all over the word one day and given the most beautiful gift to them---my success in medicine and life. But I haven’t achieved it until now. I know that my loved mum and dad would be so sad and grieved if I left now. I couldn’t do such a cruel thing on them. I am lack of the courage indeed. I am really so sorry… But just like Jenny, I also have a long-cherished dream in my mind. I do want to make further studies in the best medical university in the world. I know it is so hard for me and I am not sure whether my dream would come true in the end, but I will try my best to achieve it before I die. I know 73 hours is really so short that it is impossible for me to realize my wish and dream. If the death really drew near to me now, maybe I would keep on giving my greatest love to my parents and go on studying hard to realize my dream. I want to keep all my loved and myself happy as usual. But I am not sure whether I can be brave enough to do like that. I just had such an idea and would have a try…
However, with the development and progress of medicine and sciences day by day, I believe that more and more miracles will take place soon. Maybe gene-therapy will be one of them which is sure to give hope to all human in the future. More and more incurable diseases even death can be conquered by human one day. Maybe it needs a so long period of time and so great efforts to achieve it. But where is will where is hope. I am confident that this dream will come true one day. When that day really comes, we need not to worry about death anymore and can keep on struggling for our dreams and giving more love and care to our dearest lovers. It is really so wonderful.
Hope more meaningful hours left for us but not only 73 hours. Wish all friends here happy and healthy forever. :-）
feier
