Dear Brando,
If you put money first and spend your life grasping for it what kind of a character will you develop in yourself? If you put money first and do manage to get money to attract girls you will attract good-time girls who like boys with money. You seem to be a sensitive young man. It is a good way to be, if used well. I don't think you would want this kind of girl, but that's what scrambling for and getting a lot of money, and putting it first, can attract.
It is good to be brave, but you have to know what you are being brave for. It has to be worth being brave about. It is true that society doesn't let boys cry. It depends what you are crying about. Sometimes it is noble to cry. If you wall off your more sensitive feelings and don't share them, or let yourself acknowledge them, what kind of relationship of understanding will you have with the woman you want to be committed to?
If you don't cry, even by yourself, and you have to learn to bear, learn to suffer, never fuss about details you may become so rigid you could crack. All that has to have somewhere to go. You can't just shut yourself down and become a rock.
Life may never be equal, but why look over at the other guy. If a person plowing a field looks over at the other guy plowing next to him to see how straight his furrows are, his own furrow will become crooked. Keep your eyes on your own life and don't become jealous of others, or criticize them in your mind, or talk about them. Just let them get on with their own lives.
You received an excellent answer from Intercessor. He was telling you to be true to yourself. Read the post that Kyle wrote to Charles and me when Charles told him he didn't want to give English help to any more people who didn't even say thanks, just used us, and then went away. In his response to Charles, Kyle is being true to himself. There's a good example in both of them for you.
You are young and still finding your way. You are being blown this way and that way by what everybody is telling you.
You are the one who has to live in your shoes, so be true to yourself. It is good to try to know yourself. You can't get to know yourself all at once. It is worthwhile to find out about your deep self all through you life, though. That is also what Intercessor is talking about. If you are true to yourself you will not have regrets when it comes time to die, which means not to be living this life in this world any more.
Enough money is needed, but not more, unless it happens that you get it without grinding or cheating for it. Don't focus you life and thoughts mostly on getting money. If you do get it, then you will have to decide how to use it well. If you have just enough, you can lead an excellent life, too. Contentment is a good thing to grow in the garden of your heart.
Take care of your health. Don't overwork yourself now. Don't worry so much about it. Life doesn't happen all at once. You build it bit by bit as you make choices and decisions, and as you respond to what happens in your life. Think about your choices and try to be just to others and to yourself, too. Try to be honest. Try to be kind, try to be understanding, try to be thoughtful of others. Try to live a balanced life. Remember that the middle way is the best way. Anything taken to extremes doesn't turn out well, even studying and trying. I said "try" all through, because we can't get it right every time. If you make a mistake see if you can fix it. If not, say sorry, and say sorry to God, ask God to fix it if that would be best, and ask to be forgiven, and then leave it. You don't have to belong to any religion or group to do this, unless you want to, of course. That's your own business.
If you consider these kinds of things as you live, respond, make decisions, things will turn out pretty well, all told, and you will have built a strong sturdy base of character inside of you. It takes time. "Rome wasn't built in a day".
Whether you, or anybody else thinks so or not, there is a God. But you have to find that out for yourself by kind of opening the door and testing if there is anybody there. You do that by just trying to have a relationship and seeing what happens. Nothing scary will happen. You will probably find a feeling of comfort, and notice that some things in life go more smoothly and sometimes things fall into place, or work out well. Not all the time, and God isn't ordered around. Just assume that God knows everything about it all, and what is best for all will happen, and then let go and trust that. This great power cares about you, loves you and wishes you well. It is a good thing to talk about your troubles and worries and ask for help from God. Maybe just before sleep you can think about your day. What went right, what went wrong, and then share that by talking quietly out loud, or in your mind, as you would with a friend. You will see that you get what you need. That will help you to grow a feeling of being grateful to God. This kind of relationship will help you. Try it. You don't have to tell anybody, go anywhere, or believe some certain thing to just ask God to be your friend and to try to please God with the way you live your life before Him.
You sound like you need to let up on yourself and love yourself more. Be as much of a friend to yourself as you would like to be a good friend to other people. Try to take courses and study things that interest and even excite you. Don't worry about being in the most popular group. You may find your best friends among the ones who seem to be on the sidelines. Just be friendly and choose your friends wisely.
I wish you a good, contented and fulfilled life dear Brando,
Mary
