Dreams and Reality

I just came back from the English corner here,and had tons of talk with friends there.However i feel almost compelled to share my thoughts with you here. In my last article,named A SemiDoctor's life,I have written about my current life and got 4 replies from friends here.thank you all for your thoughts,they inspired me.From wahts in your reply,I see the requirements in common citizen's eyes for a doctor,which lead me to know more about this occupation.The most moving one comes from Triple pan(panpanpan).I owe him a lot.Why his proves to be so heart-touching for me,I realize later,is the smae shoes we are wearing--the same occupation. Sometimes I really want to drop this occupation,to tel you all the truth.As you all see,the practice of a medical stuff requires objective mind.And what's revealed by Panpanpan,is the sophistication of that job-----it is never a simple thing for anybody,I have to say. Allow me to say more to make it even clearer to make sure you understand me. I just came back from a conference today.------I left at noon,while most students in my class did it at night.I was an early-leaver actually.Why?Because I was prroved right that this kind of conference was a nothing but merely for fame.-----Anyone who is willing to hand in RMB190 can get their "thesis" printed in the so-called book for research.About 6 out of 34 students in my class did so. I did not.Never did I hesitate in making this decision. And left.After sight--seeing of the beautiful sight in that park.it is really refreshing. Someone call this 'the corruption of scholars'.My face failed to express ang trace of agreement--not because that I don't agree with her,ut because she is---just among those who handed in the money and got that fame! And later,she criticized loudly in my dormitory about how rotten these people are. I did not say even a single word.Few days agoshe shot-changed me and another rooomate to get a better teacher in hospital. I told my cousin who is now a freshman in a key university who is eager to know my suggestion to a new-comer in a college.I told her to be hopeful,to stick to your own priciple,never fail to judge by yourself and merely follow suit.I told her that she may discover some dark side of people and society,but dont lost her heart.----I did hesitated and decided not to reveal too much to her.A freshman's braveness should be cherished ,to me.Alow her to choose and decide and see and make decisions for herself later. Being merely a semi-doctor,I come to see the requirements and dark side of a doctor's life.Like my roommate,in other people's eyes,she must make a better doctor than me----high grades,thesis printed.For those who know her better,the facts turns out that those are won by cheating in exams and money to "buy" the so called copy right. And I dont really feel the need to get thesis printed. Sure people have dreams.I love languages better.And during my holidays,I was always found teaching oral English----at a famous trainging center. But back into reality,I am a medical student---still 3 years to go to earn a master's degree.I'd say it is a decision make before i know enough about this field. I am really at parodox,have been so for a long time,to tell the truth. But since I am already in the shoe,i have been working hard---at least trying to do so. But it is really hard to imagine taht I will be a docotr for all my life.My heart nearly cried out at this thought. Do you believe that people are born with certaihjn talents and tendency.And it is no use for an arange trying to make an apple--however hard she tries,she is ,actually ,an arange but not an apple.And so much does she miss those aranges in her own family! What can I do?What can I do?I am more than eager to know your suggestions.With hearty thanks,Lucy

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