Feb 17th,2004 sunny This is already the third week after my Spring Festival vacation.And I have been transferred from that TCM hospital to the current one,a western medical one.Right now I am in the department of diseases of the blood,which is chosen by myself. I did not know,before I came to this department,that intership here can be so conflicting.By that what I am trying to say is I am feeling like standing between light and shadow,life and death.They are so near to each other .Sometimes this almost moved me to tears and sometimes I am finding myself being torn by it.Of course,most of the time,I feel good at learning,and am developing a more healthy attitudes towards this profession.Nearly all patients in our department are with some kind of fatal ailment of the blood system,mostly leukemia(I am not sure if this is the right word,bai2 xue3 bing4).The other day,I saw a 15-year old boy cring while trying to comfort his mom that he is going to get out of this hospital and end this too too expensive treatment.Leukemia,at least this is what I see here,leaves an door for life.But the key is named "money",as I very painfully name it.Anyhow this is true.Anybody with enough money will get diagnosed and is likely to get properly treated,thus they have a chance to survive for a longer time,even living the normal life.But to my great pain,those without enough money(even to a family with average income,it is still not easy to shoulder all these fees),get to package themselves and go out(if not with the stronger word"kiked out"). I am not blaming the hospital,cos they probably have to do so ---they are not able to shoulder all thses cost alone.Doctors need to be paid under such heavy work pressure,and they also need to make a living.What ahould be blamed turned out to be my tears,they just could not help circling when at this sight!How much striken pain my heart was suffering at this!How I wish I can do acupuncture on the little boy--he is so cute and considerate!---But I had to hold on--I am not allowed to practise medicine till I get a lisence,and that should be at least 2.5 years later.And how I wish TCM can help!How I wish I have mastered TCM better and be of help in this case!-----Giving the condition that not all diseases are curable ,at least we can lessen their sufferings.The boy has been under severe suffering cos of a loose bowel movement(diarrhea),high fever,ans a distending pain in his belly due to his swollen liver(gan1) and spleen(pi2).I taught his mom about the acupoint of zu2 san1 li3,and asked her to press it in hope to relieve his pain(If I am alowed to do acupuncture,the outcome should be much better).And helped to place a piece of wet cloth on the boy's forehead to help to cool him(his body temperature has risen to nearly 40 centigreade).Western medicine,at this piont,turns out to be so helpless.They have gave the boy nearly all kinds of modern exams and expensive medicines,but with little effect.---------Never do I look down upon western medicine,but if they don't look at TCM from their nose,maybe things can be better.----For me myself,how deeply am I moved and how much strength I have got from this to learn more about both medical system and use both of them well,really well,to help these suffering people! And I am working towards it.Right now at this stage,much of my time is taken up by medical knowlege,and little can I spend with the language of English.Though a pity it is for me,I am feeling happy and content at the same time.It is worth while,isn't it?
And weather here is great!With the coming of spring,the sun is smiling more and more,giving us blissful sunlight and a light mood.God love this city:)and me too.And we went flying a kite last weekend.It was almost a decade since I did flying a kite(and very a poor job I had done at that time:))And aure I did much better this time.But I still have to say that more than skill,it costs energy--cos it was not windy enough,and you have to run to keep the kite rising:)More of a physical exercise:).So what have you done to celebrate the coming of spring?
(ps.TCM stands for Traditional Chinese Medicine)
