Every morning, I'm awaken by the same noises. They come from my landlady’s boyfriend, as he has to get up very early for work. Sometimes, I really don’t know whether he is to blame, after all, it’s his home, not mine.
Basically, I found myself lucky to meet flat mates like them, as they've always been offering me timely help. I get on very well with them. Nevertheless, it’s impossible for them to treat me like “part of their family” as they often claimed. They can still not be compared with my parents.
They don’t share with me the best food, such as meat or eggs. (As for this, I really don’t care, as I don’t pay them much.) However, I really got a little bit hurt, as they seemed to have violated their previous promise to pick me up to travel around. I was actually left alone at home a couple of times when they came out. Later, I was no longer sad, as I knew they were not obligated to treat me as well as my parents.
I used to be extremely self-centered at home. I always turned a deaf ear to everything my parents pointed out for me, even though I’ve done wrong. For example, I surfed the Internet the entirely day, and refused to join them in meals or went to bed before midnight.
Now it turns out to be different. My landlady’s boyfriend is such a well educated person that many of my behaviors or habits seem to be unacceptable for him. As a result, he often told me I should not do this and that, such as not to open and close the door so forcefully; not to forget to close the windows when go out; not to forget to open the windows immediately after taking a shower; not to forget to clean every corners of the bathroom or kitchen (I actually volunteered to do most of the housework at home, but he doesn’t seem to be very satisfied with my job.)
I know he tells me all these things with good will, but I still find it hard to get used to his constant blames. It’s ridiculous that if my parents talk to me in this way, I will certainly lose temper or even argue with them. However, I have to show my “gratitude” to him for having let me know what exactly I should do.
Besides, I can’t do many things in my own will, such as surfing the Internet or making phone calls. I actually share half of the entire bill with them, but the time I can truly use these equipments is far from equal, but confined. For the former, I cannot surf the Internet earlier than 11 o’ clock in the evening, sometimes if there’s a call in or they want to call others, they will urge me to get offline, though it should have been the right time for me to use the line, and it will cost me another 20 Australian cent to access to it once again later. For the latter, I’m not expected to chat long on the phone, as they often get calls, or it may disturb their sleep. Here I use the phrase “not expected to”, because they seldom give me direct orders or commands, but their implication also deprives me of any chance to refuse.
My best friend Suky once said it’s impossible to be carefree if you live in other's roof. Her past landlady even set strict time limitation for her to take a shower, say, no more than five minutes. By comparison, I began to take all these inconveniences in my life as really nothing serious. I also take it as temporarily. I believe it will change later when I come back to my own home. The more important thing is I’m aware that I should fully appreciate all these good things they’ve done for me, such as the part-time job they've recommended for me; the radio, pillow, coat hangers and plastic basin they've borrowed me; the small party they held for me last month on my 23rd birthday (I must say that’s really a moving and sweet night that I will never forget in the rest of my life), and so is the sincere talk from them with real concern about my English learning and study.
This is actually not the first time that I have lived with somebody else. I used to have many conflicts with my roommates in university. When looking back, I tend to understand that's because I was too young to be understanding and tolerant.
My present life has taught me that the secret to good relationship is to pay more attention to person’s good merits rather than shortcomings. That is, you have to appreciate all these good things they have done for you, and also try to be tolerant about any inconveniences or unhappiness they might have brought you.
June 18, 2004
