Love you, Dodge you
Gazing at that familiar nickname on her MSN, Cynthia felt a sentimental emotion crept into her mind involuntarily and her heart felt as if it had been ripped apart and thrown into the sea to feed the sharks. How eagerly she was yearning to greet him, whereas she warned herself that she was not entitled to do so any more, she had determined to dodge him intentionally. She was not sure how long she had been lurking on her MSN. She just peered at his nickname silently and let her mind float wildly. He was online, however Cynthia altered her status into offline right after she logged on her MSN, thus he would not able to know Cynthia was online virtually. They were bound to depart from each other. Tears began misting in her eyes, nevertheless she felt reluctant to wipe them off, she did need an outlet at that moment.
She had known him online for almost a year, and actually everything went smoothly and their conversations were still as pleasant and blithe as ever before, but she resolved to elude him thereafter. She was clear in mind that only in this way, she could reduce the hurt she brought to him to the least extent. She was scared that once the truth was revealed to him, he would get hurt severely by the cruel truth.
The relationship between her hubby and her was not so satisfactory, and her bubby always stayed late outside, and she found she didn’t really care about where her bubby was at midnight. What was more ridiculous was that she even expected him to stay out as late as possible. They were just like two strangers who shared the same apartment . Consequently, she tended to indulge herself in chatting online to paralyze herself and to find some console and solace. God played such an absurd joke on her. It was undeniable both she and her hubby were nice and capable ones in others’ eyes, they were supposed to be a happy couple, yet they were not, absolutely not.
She came across him in an English chat room. It was great fun chatting with him, undoubtedly, he was an accomplished and eloquent chat pal apart from his awesome English language proficiency. Later , Cynthia asked him why he felt like chatting with her, he simply replied that her playful and tricky words and behavior together with her flexible oral English attracted him at the very beginning. On hearing this, Cynthia could barely restrain her chuckle. It was true that she always behaved like a wacky girl and somewhat like a trouble maker in that chat room. She knew only in this way, she would forget all the discomforts her unlucky marriage brought her. Via chatting, both of them were gradually convinced that they had so much in common and they became good friends shortly. And surely they exchanged much personal information, such as their age , location, occupation and something like that. One thing was different was that Cynthia veiled her true age and her marital status. She briefly told him that she had got a fiancé already. She didn’t feel like telling him that she was in fact a married lady especially when she knew he hadn’t got a girlfriend yet, she just supposed that a young guy would feel reluctant to chat with a married lady and honestly, she didn’t want to lose such a chat pal online. After all, it was in no sense an easy thing to bump into a congenial friend in reality, let alone in the virtual world. Actually she appeared to be cheerful and childlike online and was fond of making fun of some old friends in chat room, therefore, all the friends there believed that she was a naughty yet carefree young girl ,who was at the age of 26. Actually her real age was 30, and was 3 years older than him.
Gradually, both of them felt that there was a subtle feeling arising between them. She extremely missed him if they were not able to meet online for a couple of days, vice versa. And he always addressed her honey affectionately, which deeply touched her heart. Occasionally, they rang up each other. One thing for sure was that she could feel free to ring him up whenever she wanted, however if he wanted to ring her up, he was obliged to send a message to her to obtain her permission in advance for she had got a “fiancé” already. He always kept his promise and never rang her up without her permission therefore she was still able to hide the truth. But it was true that the lies upset her, and she felt extremely guilty for hiding her true ID to him. Many a time, she had a strong impulse to tell him the truth, yet she always hesitated at the crucial moment for fear of hurting him After all, she was clear in mind that he believed in every single word she told him and he himself was honest. She could barely imagine how painful he might feel after he was told the truth. He would feel that she was cheating him and making fun of him deliberately all the time, which would be unforgivable.
A week ago, she was on her business trip, while lying on the chaise longue near the swimming pool in her hotel staring at the starry sky one night, she painfully found the first person who crept into her mind at that very moment was him not her hubby. She missed him so much that she couldn’t help taking out her cell phone and dialed up that number. She felt like crying at that very moment when that cheerful and exciting “hi, honey’ came from the other end of the line, she managed to calm herself down and make her voice normal and steady. The conversation was as blithe and vivid as before, yet she clearly realized it was most probably their last conversation…From that moment on, she had resolved to dodge him in order not to hurt him once the truth was exposed. Maybe that was for the best for both of them…
“For your sake, let me vanish totally…"Feeling tearful, Cynthia logged off her MSN…
