Dear Joan,
You say that your instructor complains you have no "discipline". I imagine she means that about your writing? You didn't clear to me whether it is about getting your work done in to her on time, or about the structure of your writing. If it is about self discipline you are better to talk to Neil about that, or Charles. To try to help, I will assume it is about the stucture of your writing.
You know that the first paragraph of an essay or report introduces the topic in a general way. The first paragraph and the final paragraph are related to each other because the first one says what you will prove, and the final one proves that you have kept your promise, and in the body of the essay you have illustrated, or proven what the first paragraph promised. These two paragraphs must be your strongest ones.
When you begin to write an essay you won't necessarily know what part of what you write will become your first paragraph. Just begin writing from a list of what you want to explain. After you have everything written is the time to clean up your writing and make it interesting. After that you may look in your writing for your beginning paragraph. ;You will praobably find you didn't start with what will be your beginning paragraph. It was several paragraphs into what you wrote. Cut it out anbd put it at the beginning.
Then make sure that the last sentence of the beginning paragraph introduces what will be in the next paragraph. Write about that. Then write a final sentence that will slide you nicely into your third paragraph's beginning sentence. Keep on doing this with paragraphs so that each one introduces the next one. Finally you will come to the end. That is when you summarize what you have told them in one final burst of triumph.
After that you go back through the whole essay again and remove unnecessary words, use stronger or more descriptive words where there may be weaker ones, and, and after that you begin again from the beginning to read it and insert all punctuation and capital letters correctly. Finally, you read the whole thing through as though you were reading it for the first time. Make sure the words flow well and that you have clearly expressed everything you said. That it flows and is perfectly understandable. If you write this way you should have an excellent essay.
Writing reports and news items is somewhat different.
Be sure to answer the words Who? When? Where? Why? And go on to Which? What Kind? How Many? if necessary.
Who? When? Where? and Why? must be answered. And answer them in that order.
If you do so, you can build headlines. And you can write pithy openers, and you can write succinct artddicles.
"Child snatched -- RANSOM WILL BE PAID
IBM Executive's child snatched from maid noon Friday
Jamie Brown, 4, son of James Ellison Brown, Canadian CEO of I.B.M. International was snatched from the care of his nanny at noon Friday as they returned from playing in a neighbourhood park. As they walked home together a black van pulled up, a masked man jumped out and dragged Jamie into the van which sped off. At 2 pm a note demanding $2 million US dollars for Jamie's safe return was found with family mail in the presence of investigators. Crudely pencilled on a piece of brown paper, it was found at 1 pm, by a maid in her regular duties. Jepson Street mail is delivered between ten and 11:30 am daily so it appears it was slipped into the top slot of the outdoor box sometime after 1 pm Thursday when last cleared, and ten am Friday before daily delivery. The Jepsons asked this newspaper to report that ransom will be paid as directed.Their only concern is the safe return of their son. All directions will be followed exactly as specified. Mrs. Jepson tearfully pleaded on WBXT-tv for the swift and safe return of her little son.
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Now if you want to go on with the article you can elaborate on what she said. From the last sentence you can go on to the next paragraph. You can answer Which/What Kind/How Many/ if desiraed.
The main thing in a news report is that people read everything at a glance in the beginning from the headline. Then it is very succinctly given in more detail. Then each paragraph elaborates on what was told before. It becomes more and more detailed as you read further. That way, busy people will know the skeleton of the information. People with more time can find out more. The whole thing is constructed in the orderly fashion of an essay, but much more tightly constructed at the beginning. Further down you can go into what the police think. Who is in charge of the case. And so on, and on so every reportable detail you have gleaned has been expanded and explained.
I hope this helps, dear Joan. Right now I have to go to give guests lunch. They leave tonight. Then we drive to Calgary. Neil lives there but we have made no arrangements to meet.
I will write again on the forum when I return about the end of the first week of September.
Love and good wishes to you, dear Joan.
Mary
