Today is October fifteenth, ten days having passed since I arrived here in Guiyang. As usual the ten days sped off in a blink of an eye. It seemed like yesterday when I stared at the blurred as the plane gathered its full speed and shot itself straight up in the air, both sad to leave Father alone and delighted to set foot on an adventure. It did nothing to lighten me up and everything to increase my "fathersick," however, on hearing that he waited to leave the airport until our plane took off. I felt most upset, but didn't show a tiny bit of the downcast spirit as I knew the departure did nothing bad to a twenty year old girl if she wanted to live on her own in years to come.
Strong ties as I held of my father, I remember clearly what life was doomed for me when we stayed here for the first time in my life three years ago. No writing desk, no computer, completely cut off from the outside world even though I traveled that far. Everything was new and not belonging to me. Bothered by colds and long rainy days, I miserably missed Father and everything back home. My temper rose up to a dangerous point where finally erupted and hurt everyone around. But I had grown much older since. I learned to accept and control my emotions. I thought better around myself, not only of myself. Indeed, experiences, both pleasant and nasty, can make man grow.
Long before this trip, I promised myself that I would try my best to accept anything during the stay and make myself feel at home as much as possible. When told I would have a desk, a laptop, and a wireless internet connection there I was ecstatic. I thought this time it would be blessed with a win-win solution, in which my mother rejoined her family and I stayed there as a necessary change for my rigid life back home.
It turned out to be a real blessing when we flew from Xi'an Xianyang International Airport to our destination. We saw through the window a rainbow over the thick clouds beneath the airplane! I began daydreaming about this spectacular view the moment after reading David's article describing how unique an rainbow looked in parallel. Rare as it is due to the weather condition and flying angle, I would never imagine to see one myself. Now as a full rainbow appeared on my left hand, I felt my heart on cloudy nine and stomach clenched with excitement.
The rainbow was consisted of two round concentric rainbows, each a little bigger from the center which was a colored ball. The whole lot set on the vaporous ridge of the cloud, translucent just to recognize its colors. It was as though an invisible magical wand poked from under the cloud to conjure the round rainbow (I'm still reading Harry Potter book ^_*). When the plane continued to fly southwestward it evaporated slowly from the view. From the moment I stared right at it, it dawned on me that the experience would be all too different from the last time I visited the city.
Changes almost always come within rather than out. The same case goes with our trip. Grandpa and Grandm care and love their children just the same as the last time. While I was here three years ago I rejected the love, thinking their love was a hurt to me. Nearly at every dinner when all the family members were present they urged Mother to "grab" food for herself as though I were a barricade blocked off her access to the plates (Sometimes I am because I need to be fed and Mother has only got two hands!). This time, however, with more empathy and broadness I'm trying to summon, I feel only parental love steaming up from the dinner table when Grandparents cast anxious looks over to Mother's bowl and unsuccessfully advise Mother on how to eat more efficiently with me.
Neither can I change my bodily conditions nor others' attitudes; there is only one thing I can change, and that is my attitude.
There is something that has impressed me firsthand upon our arrival: the trace of time, which showed itself best when I got off the car and met Chenxi, my seven-year-old cousin now reaching my chest by height, two-year-old Dingding, another cousin of mine whom I've never seen before, Grandma with her back bending lower and legs curling like the crescent moon, and Grandpa, who has obviously got what seemed like Parkinson's Disease on his hands. The first two, of course, are flourahing. But Grandma and Grandpa are descending the hill of health. The first sight of them warned me that they might be no longer able to accompany us to wherever we liked to go, and they really are. They haven't been with us down to a park a few miles away but become even reluctant to take more flights of staircases when there is no desperate need. With two uncontrollably shaking hands and poor lower back, Grandpa showed no more eagerness in cooking. When given a coil of cotton thread as a present, Grandma was defeated by great disappointment that she no longer be able to use the needle and thread due to her severe disease in her cervical vertebra. Long, hard working hours without proper precaution finally took their toll on them.
But they have not been able to retire; they still have something to serve their children and the generation next, because "that brings them some fun," as their children put it. Sure, the most fearful for the elderly would be loneliness, and that's the thing my aunties are trying to keep away from their parents by having them baby-sit their kids. Now a question springs forward: How are Aunties sure that it is best for Grandparents to look after them and their kids? While the old couple might have enjoyed the company graciously given by their grown-ups, they have also been following the habit in a could-not-help-themselves way to get up early to buy groceries their kids and grandkids love, to cook for four or five people two times a day, and to save good dishes for the youngsters. This has been going on for years.
Anger arises in my stomach every time I see them give the food or fruit they love to a grown-up or small one and end up with nothing to eat. If they could only be left alone to change the habit, if they would not be pressed that hard on the idea of living with that kind of "fun," if they could lead a life that would help them develop a habit better than the so-called "keeping company," would they have health worse than now? Would a kid-free life be so bad to them that they weren"t going to be given anything good?
I will never, ever answer these questions as no one has a Seeing eye. Before I was sixteen, I would never know I would see Grandparents twice. Neither did I know that I would see the rainbow before I left my dad at the airport. Life is magic yet reality. You will never have a clue what is happening the next minute, but with careful planning and a thoughtful, unselfish mind, you can expect good things to happen.
Once chosen right, everything will turn out to be beautiful and healthful.
