Dear Cilla,
It's a good thing that you don't show your bad moods to people around you. Especially not to people at your office. So you are doing right in that.
It would be a good thing for you to write about your unhappiness and bad moods in your English journal because it would be an outlet for you. It can help you to unburden yourself in private and to feel better.
I also like to stay by myself and read. I also don't like shopping. I also like my privacy. I also was once advised to write about my "bad moods" in my journal. Some of us need words to understand what we are thinking. I am one of those. Maybe you are, too. People don't have time to listen to us because they have their own needs and problems and we don't like to expose ourselves to them, anyway. A journal has no needs and problems of its own. It will take whatever we
write. The words we write can also help us to understand ourselves, to work out what we are thinking and feeling, to understand ourselves or form our ideas.
Leslie's advice is correct. Maybe if you use English for a purpose, such astalking in it to your journal it will be more useful to you and you may begin to
like it.
Dear Cilla, I hope you will begin to think about yourself with the kindness you
would use for others. When you talk to yourself inside you need to be gentle.
It would help you very much to try to get as positive an attitude as you can about your job and your life.
I recommend that when you go to bed at night, before sleep, that you count your
blessings. For instance, "I have a clean, warm bed." "I have a job and am not
unemployed." "I have health". Think about anything good you can about your life and be thankful. It even helps to say "thank you" to the power that governs life for all the good things in your life.
Try to look around you for nice thing. See a baby smile at you, see somebody help an elderly person. See a tree against the sky. See some blue in the sky. See a little bit of grass coming up from under stones, see whatever you can that
is positive. When you see negative things look for something good in them. It
may be hard to find, but something will be there.
There is a story about the great Jesus. Once he was walking with his friends, his disciples along a road. A dead dog lay by the side of the road. As they passed, each of his friends remarked on something about that dog. One mentioned how much it stank. The next saw the flies on it, and so on. When Jesus remarked,
he said "but look at how beautifully white it's teeth are." We all need to learn to take this kind of approach to life.
Dear Cilla, this isn't only for your own inner health and happiness. It is possible to bring trouble to yourself by continually dwelling on negative things. Often what we strongly expect to happen all the time to us is what we draw to ourselves. Draw good to yourself, and not negative things events. You need very much to become a more positive and self-accepting person. Try it. You'll like it!
Warmly and with affection to you dear Cilla,
