I’ve applied for personal leave today..and you've granted me your approval.
I couldn’t take my leave peacefully without thinking about the deadline we have
next Monday. Nor am I willing to drag everything till the last minute that we’
d have to end up staying in office overnight to complete the report and consolidation.
I went back to the office this morning after finished settling my personal matters. I knocked on your glass window naughtily where u were blinded by blind that
you couldn’t see who’s coming. You left your chair despite you were busy typing before I approached your office window. You seemed surprise to see me.
“I thought you were on vacation today?” you asked.
“that doesn’t prevent me from coming back, does it? ". asking ppl question as
a reply has always been the way i chose to answer ppl's question.
“I know u just cant put it down”. You argued.
“what to do, I am so in love with the company that I cant help it.” I defended
myself. God knows I cant put u down.
“this is so not French”, you commented, sarcastically.
“I am not a French after all”. I responsed. I am , somehow, disappointed for the fact that the way you differentiate us two.
I needed a quiet place to think, figuring out the connection between two consolidated files to construct the final version. With family running around asking me
opinion for this and that, extending me invitation to watch tv, to go out shopping…..will not give me an ideal quiet environment to work with a clear mind. I
decided to go back to office for awhile, knowing well that, as soon as I pressed
on the power on button on my CPU, it will not be a 1-2 hour thingy but I am bound to stay there. It is not because u are being harsh and made me stay there for
long, but my commitment to my job, and the workaholic nature I have in me.
I went looking for you to discuss issues I couldn’t understand. You paused for
awhile, before giving your opinion. You asked me, as if you have just heard the
strangest news of all, “are you going to do this now? Or today”. I said, “yes
”, without doubt, as if that’s the very reflex that anyone would have when things happen to them.
You shook your head slightly.
“What?”, I asked. Knowing that that head shake is bound with something I did not wanna hear, not a compliment after all.
You remain silent.
“what is that shake for?” I asked again.
“ that is for culture shock”. You finally found your phrase.
“Culture shock” hey? Culture shock is the word I always used whenever I see something that I am not used to, something I don’t like, some messy stuff that I
am not happy with that I wish I could change that is beyond my control.
It is just so much of my workaholic nature that you’ve never come across?
***************************************************************
I tried rushing everything I could,before i leave for long CHinese New Year leave.
Half way through, you gave me a call asking me some past issue. Given the fact that I was in the midst of consolidation, I could not recall the issue you mentioned, despite I have seen email from president asking for details. I was under the impression that the email is addressed to you, I chose not to reply, trying to
keep a distance and avoid being misunderstood of trying to claim more credit that what I should nor am I trying to overtake you.
I pleaded for 3 minutes to retrieve data from achieve. I found it, printed it and gave it to you.
You adopted a different approach as compared to the reply I first got from you when I first sent you that proposal. I suppose president like the analysis, and I
suppose he would have praised you for the analysis done and hence you got back
to me and told me that the analysis was excellent and said that it helped smoothing the discussion between you and president.
It is a different feeling when I wrote three paragraphs here above and those written previously. I missed you dearly at first..and now I wonder, I would desperately wanna know, had I not helped you the way I had, would you have treated me the same? Or would you be treating me the way you would treat others…in other words treat others like dirt like shit?
Had I misunderstood you, I should extend my most sincere apology. It is just that I had lost confidence in mankind. It seems like selfishness is human nature that mankind are bound to have..
I just lose faith....that’s all.
Happy new year and may you make the most out of your trip, given that there’d be long working hours next week for the meeting preparation.