Ask Yourself First
"Ask yourself first", finally I spoke these words out, in a whisper-like way.
Yet the rebeverating sounds eaches in my heart.
Ask yourself first.
Ask yourself first.
I was faced up with parodox with the awkward chioce of whether to follow the
first supervisor or the second, with both of them offering different plans for my future study before graduation, simultaneously. Accepting one while decling one, would undoubtedly hurt the other.(As in which my case is quite an exceptional
one. Usually a postgraduate has only one supervisor during his years of study)
I have no clear blueprint as for where Xiao Yu and I am heading. This relationship is still one in the air, and we have a long way to go before my graduation
. Time, energy, and the most corporeal one, money, could we afford? The future,
when even I cannot see my single way clear enough, can we see our way together?
I was trapped as whether to be immersed in the ocean of medicine or to choose
the one in which I can have more time and an easy heart while still get my talent into full play. Am I eqiuipped enough for the latter, despite the never-ending self-teaching? I wonder.
I have a lot to rely on. I have a school sister with really keen-insight who
can point out a way for me; I have a nice teacher who is glad to be of help by offering more link to professors in related field; I have two tutors which is unreacheable to others, and more souces to enjoy as a result; I have a tender boy,
not really sophisticated, but the type my heart calms at the words of whose; I have this degree of master, and a self-stimulating one gained in English, a bachelor one. What's more, I have delicate toys and wonderful books coming from overseas from my big brother each year for new year, no matter how busy he is. I have
loving parents ,though not rich a family, provide me with all they can afford for my personal development. I have another friend, who promises to offer my a job with the bottom salary of 4000 yuan in her company, but with these words of"you should go to a higher place regarding your ability. What I have here for you is an insurerance in case you need it".
I have them all. And I have been throwing balls of questions to them.
Not till last night, stroke by the impulse to write to my big brother late in
the night, did I realise the most important thing that makes one grow. ASK YOURSELF FIRST.
Ask yourself first, because all others can do is to offer advice and suggestion, in stead of making a decision for you. Ask yourself fisst, because all the gains and loss are at your own hands, that no one demands to share or shoulder together. Ask yourself first, because without knowing the true interest and the deepest stimulation of yourself, any decision made will be turned down soon later.
It seems I am beginning to have some clue as what to do next.(grins Wingedheart;))
