I was shocked somewhat by this kind of topic. Frankly speaking, committing suici
de and the thought of life full of meaninglessness came into my mind when I was
sixteen. It is mainly because I read so many pessimistic articles, especially o
ne written by a foreigner, it described a man, stamping his steps around the roo
m overnight, contemplating the death and meaning of life. For him, death was app
roaching one second by one second with the steps. What the people doing and to d
o became meaningless. The sun would break and the universe would destroy. Human
is so small like a dirt. Everything would disappear with the ruin of universe. H
ow meaningless the thing you are doing ! How meaningless the achievement you wil
l get ! The stepper's hand was full of sweat and his hair stood straight. It see
med as if he was in my room and staring at me with his hands stretching out in f
ront of my face. I was frightened and scared, but could not help reading the art
icle again and again till day break.
Since then, I always think, really, life is meaningless. We are alive just becau
se we are born. We work just because we need bread and shelter. Fortunately, whe
n I become older and older, this kind of thought is fading away little by little
but is not wiped off completely. Even the responsibility to my parents and fami
ly support me mostly, sometimes, in certain circumstance, I would be flooded wit
h them again.
Yes, as Mary said, we should use our excellent brainpower for the present and fo
rseeable future where it is really needed, not for the evil thoughts. In such a
short lifetime, we can not afford to waste for our precious time.
God bless me !
