Dear Neil, dear Charles, dear David, dear forum friend,
I started this post just for Neil and Charles but it developed into a rather
sad post to David, and to all of you because I want to tell you about a situation and a letter and card I found very hard to write. If you read this post to the end you'll understand why.
I know you asked me why I rarely use sayings and cliches. It's because I'm trying to exemplify simple, yet literate English. There are all kinds of people here. Some need to pass exams and some need to talk or write to people whose English is excellent. Slang and cliches are OK in casual, friendly writing or conversation, but they "don't cut it" in other places, and the more of them used, the
worse things get. Cliches are sneered at, even though they are well-used and have "stood the test of time." Usually when I use them I put them into quotation
marks so people can either learn them or not, just as they please.
No dear Neil, I wasn't taking a swipe at you, I really was trying to equal your
sense of humour in your post to "Prince Charles," our dear HeoTeal whom I'mso glad to see back with us for a little while. No doubt the pressures of his work will steal him away again soon, so we'll just have to enjoy whatever we get
while he can be here. It's the same situation as with our Dove. And what about
Standly?
As for Tim, I expect he's off trying to make a difference in the world. He has
a lot of concerns about how some things are going in his country and he would like to see changes. Probably that seems more important to him than visiting and
chatting with us. I don't see it that way, myself, but "to each his own."
Of course I do my best to stay away from partisan politics because it isn't what
Baha'is are supposed to do with their time. It can also cause danger to Baha'is
in other countries of the world where they are persecuted.
What I do here myself is to try to help with an excellent forum. I want to have
fun, and to make friends because its pleasant to have a warm relationship with
people in a very different country from my own or my ancestral countries.
Another reason I'm here is because I enjoy writing and its always interesting to
use my interest in English here. I try to offer my best efforts and, like others here who write for the same reason, I find it fun.
A further reason I stick with the forum is similar to Tim's. China and Chinese
people are attractive to me and I'm glad to learn more about you and to feel more and more comfortable with Chinese people here through the understandings I reach through the forum. I find I feel quite easy and comfortable now. I used to
feel a little strange, but I don't any more. Tim was planning a business trip
to China. Maybe it isn't going to happen so that cooled his interest?
We Baha'is do our best to be part of a friendly and integrated world and to help
it to come about. That's one of the main things its about so I try to do my part here that way. And I also hope that if any of you ever meet some other Baha'
i some day you will feel friendly and comfortable with that person because you
have the Faith isn't a peculiar, invasive or dangerous thing through me. For instance, I believe you know it isn't a cult.
Religious, class, age, gender and every other kind of prejudice destroys the fabric of humanity which I believe is basically one family of man. I hate to see any kind of prejudice and here I don't find you expressing various kinds of prejudice. That's one of the reasons I respect you and like it here.
Partisan politics are so divisive. Also, they are a clumsy way to elect good representatives, and there are better ways that we're trying to learn through the
teachings of Baha'u'llah. Maybe I'll tell you about them because elections are
in the forefront of my mind right now. Every newspaper, every web-site, television or radio programme is full of election speculations and the latest statements from the leaders of each of the three major parties. There are smaller parties but unless they get 5% of the popular vote none of the media give them any air
or print time. One little party, The Green Party finally made their 5% but they
still aren't getting coverage.
So as I said, right now in Canada we are in the midst of the run-up to a federal
election which will decide the course our country will take for the next four years or so. I have always cast the most well-considered vote I can. It's hard
to vote for the best individual to represent your area because they are bound by
their party and you may not agree with the party platform. You may not agree with any of the party platforms. Then there are the people who vote "strategically." As you know, Neil, they vote to try to effect something they feel is "the
lesser evil," so even if they don't really like the local candidate or the party
platform or its leader they vote for it anyway. They vote not for the direct purpose of choosing their representative to parliament, but for another more wily
reason. I always cast my vote in hopes of helping my country, even though it can be hard. If the ballot is ever not a secret ballot any more, that's when I will no longer vote. I think the principle of the secret ballot is very important.
This seems to have become a post that wanders from subject to subject, so I may
just as well wander a little further and share that I just finished writing one
of the hardest letters I've ever had to write. My first cousin is willing herself to die right now. I phoned her in the USA at the new year and found that she
has taken to her bed. Before that she had three hospitalizations and when released to enter a hospice (a hospice is a place where you can die without pain if
possible and in a good atmosphere with kindly support, but it is not a place where they try to save your life,) she refused the eat or take her medications. After three days she gave in and ate again and then she stabilized.
In February of this year her beloved husband fell out of bed and died -- just like that one fine morning! I supposed likely right in front of her. Maybe the crash even woke her up. A few months before he had been hospitalized for pneumonia and nearly died. To have him die in the morning in her presence must have been a great shock.
My dear cousin is going blind and has a number of chronic illnesses, and he loved her very much and always cared for her, even after he "recovered" from the pneumonia hospitalization. This was a very long term marriage, just like mine with
Ben which just passed its 49th year this month on January 11. Such a sharp and
sudden severing of a life-long love has to be a great shock.
My cousin is too weak to get out of bed now without assistance and much of the time she sleeps. When I phoned she was able to speak with me for only a few minutes in a weak voice. Her daughter who comes two days a week to be with her was
there. Later her daughter wrote me a letter and explained these things to me.
I just replied to her daughter's letter and also found a suitable and loving card for my cousin.
My cousin told me the doctors don't know why she's wasting away. She claims to
them and to me that she isn't depressed. That's impossible under the circumstances. So you can imagine, I'm sure that it was hard. David, I wanted you to know Earla's condition, so I thought this was one way to tell you about it. You may not remember her because her mother decided she wasn't going to have anything
to do with her husband's family. And you were so much younger. I remember her
very well from the three times I actually managed to meet her once when she was
eight, once when she and Talie visited together and she was 14, once just before
they moved away to BC in person. And I came to know her much better from a several hours' long conversation we had by long distance a few years ago.
She is very much like me. In fact so much like me in her personality and the way she thinks and feels that we both found it amazing. She became quite dear to
me because of that long phone call. And now she has shut down and intends to die.... So David, my dear brother, that's the sad news.
Well my friends, sometimes some of you cry on our shoulders here when something
hurts you, and in the same way I've ended up crying on your shoulders tonight about my cousin determining to die. Thank you for patiently reading.
With warm affection to you dear Neil and Charles, a hug to my brother and kindest good wishes to all of you,
Mary in Canada like Neil.
