Dear Blue Tibet,
Many experts on human relationships and psychology are unanimous that there is
no such thing as one true love for each person. Once you find a person who attracts you, who is a fundamentally happy being, whose ideas about raising children
, living as loving mates and handling money are similar to yours, and who is acceptable in your family do you choose. There are many people who could fit this
description for you.
Next you form a firm promise to be faithful and loving to each other, and to be
mates for life. Many call this marriage. After that you begin to live together
and to love together. When a child comes you do your best together to raise it
to be a good and loving, caring human being.
Only after you have promised yourselves to each other do you make physical love
with each other. Before marriage it is best to be chaste. There is good reasons for this. You learn together how to be lovers. Neither of you has anyadvantage over the other. Neither of you has memories of somebody else making love to them while they are with you. Of course, both being chaste means thatneither of you has been infected with any venereal disease that can be passed to
your beloved.
During your marriage your intention is always to make the other your soul mate.
So you each think and try to become closer in heart and soul as well as body.
This kind of faithful marriage has at least nine months to get established before a baby comes into the picture. A baby needs to have a safe and nurturing
home. It came from a safe and nurturing womb-world, and now it needs a home where its parents are united to live together "as two birds in one nest."
This will give your baby (babies) security and inner stability. It will give them self confidence. Both parents should spend time, care, love, and guide their
child because the child of whichever sex needs the example of a good maleinfluence as well as a good female influence. This is true for your child's whole life. It doesn't even stop when your child has grown, married, and has children of its own because you become a role model for your child at all stages of life. Even in old age parents who grow old in a noble way are steadying examples for their children. I say "steadying examples" because there is great need of
it today in our changing and often perverse and crumbling world structures. To
stay steady on a positive and healthy life course we all needgood examples and mentors and parents are one of the strongest examples of all.
Through all life experiences together, the sweet ones, the difficult ones, the
sacrificially cooperative ones, and all the rest is the way that we grow to become true and bonded soul-mates.
Don't despair dear Blue Tibet. Right now you feel the loss of your hopes, but
there is not only one possible soul-mate. You are a caring and striving kind of
person, a tender and feeling person, and there will be a woman who will be able
to see this in you one day, and who will love you for your good qualities and for yourself. And you will feel the same way about her. That is only the beginning of the great and noble adventure of building a strong foundation, and becoming each other's soul-mate. When you achieve that you have found a dear friend who will always be yours, in this life, and in the life to come.
With much affection, Mary
