A Decision
Would you not be influenced by what your sister said to you for me? My friend suddenly said to me when we skated back from the sea yesterday. It was later in the afternoon then. We were passing a bumpy bridge. He looked at me in my eyes
with solicitude. The sun was sinking into the horizon. The gusty wind faded away
, and was already replaced by mild breeze. He said that, when I was looking at the cottages by the side of the road and thinking of the countryside I used to live had a similar look.
His words brought me back to reality, and softly tipped my heart. I was moved at
the very moment. I pretended his words to be nothing and continued to skate along, but I knew, only for that sake, I would reserve a place in my heart for him
forever. I had hanged out with guys before. But no one could touch my heart as deep as he did. Somewhat I even hoped he would be the one for me. And for that I
was willing to pray.
No one could understand me as much as he could. When I recollected my remote past, and told him how happy and carefree I was when I ran though the countryside fields, no one could be there listening as attentively as he did. He knew I wasn’
t only lingering over the simple pleasure and joviality in my childhood. I just
missed too much the feeling of being at home, which I had transiently but somewhat lost so swiftly and unavoidably afterwards.
I pointed to him on the way that how some places in the countryside looked so similar to my countryside. Those muddy roads interspersed among the orchards led me back to my home and neighborhoods in the countryside. The reed leaves breezing
away beside the river reminded me I had once played in a similar place all summer round. And the concrete terrace in people’s courtyard wore exactly the same
look as the courtyard my home used to have.
I told him during the last Spring Festival how disappointed I felt, when I rode
on bicycle to visit the countryside I once lived. All had changed ever since I left there. My memory of that collapsed the first second when I arrived there. At
some point I almost suspected all that I could remember was only my fallacy. The place I was once so familiar with has changed to the extent that it was next to impossible to relate any of my recollections to that.
But when my friend and I skated along, some scenery in the countryside brought me back to my past. Then for those I have failed to find in my hometown during the Spring Festival, somewhat I all found the similar traces here. It was a moment
hard to describe with words. It was too complicated. And it was at the moment that I noticed the existence of my friend. And I suddenly realized I had never ever come so near to somebody before.
I told my friend that I liked to do things together with him. It was so random that we met the first place, and even more so that we could meet and understand each other so well. My sister couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t understand why I was willing to stay in Shanghai and put myself in such an awkward situation
for so long. But I knew I was partly responsible for the slow pacing of the teaching business. And that I agreed to collaborate with my friend was not merely
because I like him.
I talked to my sister but she made me cry afterwards. I wouldn’t complain about
it, for she said that for my own good after all. But I believe I will give
her proof, if she wants one, that I didn’t make the wrong decision and I didn’
t think too high to be practical. I have faith in my friend and myself. All the
past experiences have reinforced it. So I am determined now that I won't let anybody or anything to weaken or offset my faith any more.
