Thing went so bad at this early morning, when we waked Jiajia up. Time nearly ran out, we need to dress him up and take him to the students vehicle, which will
arrive the entrance of my living place soon. But just like some mornings, Jiajia
was so sleepy and he favored staying at bed instead of going to kindergarten. It will be really tough if he is not cooperation. My wife’s strategy always goes
to sweet words and some things like candy to please him, and I will tell him some stories like wolf and dinosaur which kinds of animals he likes. While we are
pleasing him and altering his attention, we have him dressed. But some times, we
will fail, because Jiajia has his own strategy to delay or block his leaving home. He will ask his favorite sockes or sweater which just cleaned before the night and be wet at the balcony. If you cann’t satisfied him, he will stay at the
bed. In that situation, I will be angry and dress him with force, he will cry and ask his mother to dress. I did beat him at his hip several tims, especially at
the beginning of his kindergarten life, his unwilling to there and very discooperation.
But this morning was so awful for me, for Jiajia and my wife. I don’t know why
I did so bad at the beginning of a new day. I knew I had a worse sleeping, for I
drunk too much yesterday. The college had some guests from another college. As
Chinese doing business way, we had a dinner with them at noon, but good dinner needs good drinking. Even I don’t like that, but I had my boss together. we had
two bottles of Chinese alcohol, mostly, I drunk with the guests, it’s my job to
keep my boss out of drunk. After the dinner, I was so drunk and felt bad, even couldn’t work. At the evening, I made a phone to a friend who works in another college, I need to have a dinner with him immediately for I have my nephew will graduate from university next year, It is time for job finding and my nephew
hope to be a teacher of that college, whick is a nice college and teachers have
good salary. I need to do things as our Chinese way, to let someone introduce me
to the person who is in charge of enrolling teachers. It needs to be done immediately. I have to do it even I was still in half drunk. Because that is a
very close friend and he has a daughter only one month older than Jiajia. Both of us had wife and child together to have hot pot. That was a nice hot pot, and the lobster were great and children liked very much. For long time not see each other, we had beer, too much beer. You can imagine how bad I was last night,I
waked at 2 am for headache and thirst because of alcohol, after some water, I couldn't sleep anymore, thought something about my office job, the coming party meeting and my old father, while I was in big headache and suffered too warm heating in my house. Maybe at 6:00 I fell in sleep again, but just after 30 minutes,
I had to get up to prepare for leaving home and boil egges for Jiajia, then with
my wife to dress Jiajia up.
Jiajia is three years and one month old now. He slept so good, we even didn’ t
want to wake him up. But we had no time, in 20 minutes, the vehicle would come.
my wife put him stock on while he was still in sleep. Then I waked him up to
more clothes. He didn’t want up and said want to sleep more. I said we had no time, he cried and said he want to be left at home alone, not to kindergarten. My
wife negotiate with him for candy and something like that, I abruptly became anger and threw Jiajia’s shoes heavily on the bed and yelled at my wife, even with some dirty words. She became anger too and left the room to the living room. Jiajia cried and I dressed him forcely, when he resisted with his little hand and
arm,I beated his hip and shouted. Jiajia was so feared and asked his mother in
and let me out. So his mother in and Jiajia cried and said to his mother he wanted to stay at home. I said no, and held him in my arm and opened the door, Jiajia cried and struggled, with the coat not putting on. But time ran out, I held him down while he was crying and saying put him down.He wanted his mother holding him, his mother came and held him, he asked me leave first, and didn’t want to put the coat on. So I held him again and went down, my wife had his coat at hand and at the first
floor, I beated him again, my wife put him the coat on. Then, Jiajia didn’t cry
, maybe he thought crying was not the way to solve problem, he said peacfully to
me he didn’t want to kindergarten and asked me to leave him at home. I said No
with my angry words. Jiajia was feared, my wife blamed me behind and let me be
good to child. I blamed her spoiled Jiajia. So we reached the entrance with blaming each other. Jiajia became peaceful and asked me where was the boiled egg,I just forgot the egges at kitchen. The vehicle coming we could see. My wife blamed
me again, I shouted at her. So Jiajia cried again, I was so angry that moment,
there were some neighbors at the entrance just like us sending their children to
the vehicle. They and their children looked at us. The vehicle stopped before us, the teacher opened the door and said hello to Jiajia, but Jiajia cried and asked the egges, I beated him at his hip again, the teacher looked at me and the neighbors looked at me. Jiajia cried and my wife ran to home for the egges. I put
Jiajia in, and the teacher arranged him a seat. After all children got on, the
vehicle left. My wife still not come from home. Jiajia didn’t get his egges.
This is the story and I felt so bad this morning when I was in office, I felt I
am not a good father and good husband. Thought about Jiajia’s pure eyes and my
violence to him, my dirty words to my wife, I don’t think I am qualified to be
a good man. I hope to get some help from you to let me bring Jiajija up with a good way.
