I just forgot when was my last time sitting before the computer and writing down
something that occurred to my mind. Actually I do consider having a mood and time to write down what is in your mind is a kind of luxury, and even blessing. Because, although we could try to figure out some other excuse, eventually it turns out to be: “Oh God we are just too busy”. However, I do think that persist is worth of being praised. And one of my persist is that, every new year eve, I just see the old year off and watch the new year come. So I never sleep before 0:
00 on New Year Eve. No matter whether is cheerful or pretty sad, I usually recall my passing year, and with a humble and cautious heart, I am looking forward to
the next year.
I have no idea about what is the true meaning of history. Is it a hi-story? For
me, I have a dream that one day I could have chance to write my own biography in
English and it will be just wonderful if (and a big if) I could publish them. Having this haunt dream makes me witness history with other point of view. (aren’
t we just writing our own history right now? at least I should have to write down something what I am doing when I was young (actually now I am young) I do not
know either how many of you have ever thought about this suppose: If I could ever be able to live from the very beginning again! I do not know how many of you are expecting to have a different life. Oh God, if I could just go out to date with that girl on that night. And If just I were not be so confident. If I just took another road 8 years ago. If, if… ( now The Road Not Taken just comes to me
again! I love that poem!) Maybe these “ifs” may arouse sense of remorse. Yeah
remorse, I do have some, but never I regret, sometimes I do think that it will be just luck if I could live again and eventually reach to the point where I am standing. Life is miracle. Last year, the same day some 365 days ago, I witnessed
my darkest time of my life. For a while, my father’s illness, my job, my colleagues, my love, my brother, my mother and her siblings, everything, went up side
down. Right now, when I sit here recall those days, it looked as if it was long
long time ago. So long that it is like another life. When I was in the “everything goes wild” situation, I always take the bravest approach (well, anyhow do
you know anything that is worse than worst?) so last year I made some decisions,
most of them cost me huge both mentally and materially. For a while, I just could not sleep on the night, so when I fired tired, I drink water; when I just could not fall asleep, I read. And when everyone around me is against my decision,
I talked to my leader, who, (with a grateful heart, I recalled this) could always, through his talk, let me realize hope and exciting. And sometimes when I felt
so gloomy, I went to Charity School to teach orphans English. Now I am so glad
that I just went through them and be here. Just now, I got an assignment that I
will figure out our department’s main task to guarantee our goal next year. And
tomorrow I will try to make a frame on it. It is another blessing that you realize that what you are doing and where you shall approach. People say Janua is a
God with two faces, now by facing his front face, what are we expecting for the
coming year? I just wonder what will be my mood when I recall my life one year later. Anyhow, these unknown-things seem quite…exciting. Wish all of you Happy New Year!
