Girls, which is more important for you? to choose a good husband or a good career?
Yesterday morning, I took a model recruitment meeting held by Student Association of a university for undergraduates in order to meet the coming true one in near future. It is just a kind of activities organized by students. Because I had been a lecturer of that university, I promised them to give them strong support without any hesitation.
Perhaps lawyer is the hottest occupation in most undergraduates whose major is law, crowd in front of our counter is just like sardine packed in can. After a morning’s talking with those young boys and girls, I almost was exhausted. At the end of the meeting, a gentle and pretty girl asked me a quesition with a little bit shyness. That is the title of this article. She looked like to be puzzled with this question. I guess that it may be a puzzle for many girls. So I would like to write this here. Because this forum seems to be more popular to girls than boys. :PP This article is special for Tina. I promised her to write something to her email box to give her some advise about her job. Now what I write it here is relative to your problem. So hope you like it too.
I suppose that the answer of this question in most female’s mind in traditional China may be simple. There is a famous proverb in China shows this case. It is bad for male to enter into wrong career. It is bad for female to get wrong marriage. It is understandable that female’s position had been affiliated to male in tradition culture of China. Female had not been independent position as well as personality. However, history has been changed rapidly. Female’s role in society has not been at home. The mentioned question may be not only one answer. What you will answer will depends on your attitude to family and career. And the thoughts of it to girls may be influenced by the enviroments which they grow up to some extent, especially by their mothers. For my part, I have been thinking that female should have their own independent career, personality. I just followed my mother. Although I did not remember what she talked me about this question, her behavior is best model for me. She has been my model since I knew her very well. I still remember the night that my husband asked me to promise to marry with him in future. I told him that I was not a ordinary girl who would be satisfied with staying at home. I would upgrade on and on as long as I have chance. I might study postgraduate and even get doctor degree before I get marriage. Would you like to wait for me so long time? I would not promise you unless you could promise me first. Finally, he promised me and vis versa. Till now, my husband no sooner stopped complaining then I mentioned this dialogue so many years ago. Because he surely remembers it too.:PP Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that there must be contradictions between good career and good husband. Although I have to admit that I am not good wife, I still think that girl can deal with it well if the girl is lucky enough to meet a undertandable husband. I think that I am a lucky girl to meet my husband. Nevertheless, many girls may meet such alternative choice. You must sacrify one of them to get another. Which one you will choose is up to you, girl. My opinion is to have your own judgement on any problems. You should have your independent thoughts, job. I don’t want to cause common angry from male. But we have to meet a fact that responsible and reliable male is less and less. If you put all yourself to a male, it is risky. It is just like to put all eggs in one basket. Because the moment when a girl chooses husband, she may not be mature enough to judge whether the guy she loves is a real one suited to her. In my opinion, independence is most important for girl no matter what she will do. I don’t oppose girl to be a good wife at home. Meeting various choices is tough for everyone. But we have to meet them. Girls, when you meet this choice, your dearly boy asks you to give up your ideal, your thoughts or your job to follow him, what you will do? Frankly, it may be a bet to some extent. Maybe throwing a coin into sky is not a bad way if you can’t do whatsoever. But before you do that, you would better consider which one is more important for you, whether the guy who let you sacrify for him deserve it. Don’t do that you are relunctant to do at all. Otherwise you will regret in future.
What I talked above is just my own experience, only as a reference for you, my dear girls.
Dove
