For the memory I want to forgetIn everyday life, maybe most of the ordinary people have something they want to hide in their hearts as well as something they would like to share with others. The same thing happens to me. I have been waiting for a chance to dig the memory out of my heart and then I can forget it completely.There is a TV play about a mayoress. She had an unhappy family because she didn’t love her husband. Coincidentally, another man came to her life and supported her in spirit. They kept this illegal relationship for ten years and had a son. But her husband never knew all of these. At last her lover told her that he couldn’t wait for her any more because he wanted a normal marriage. The conflict occurred in the mayoress’s mind. One side is her lover. She loved him with her whole life. The other side is her fame and high position. She was not allowed to divorce because she was a mayoress and her husband was innocent. She wanted both---- love and reputation. However, when she found that her lover had another girlfriend whom he was going to marry, she got so crazy that she shot her husband and her son by mistake. It was she who ruined herself.Sometimes I wonder how large a person’s avarice is. Every man has a natural desire to run for something perfect. Every man wants to lead a comfortable life. Does it mean he can destroy others just because of his desire? I had been hurt by others’ selfishness, however, someone had been also hurt by me.She is Kate. Once she introduced a newly-known friend to me. His name was Thompson and he worked in the government. He was young, casual and easy to talk to. Kate was satisfied with this friend. But as a girl, she didn’t want to show her feeling to anybody. One hot summer night, she called me and said she wanted to go for a ride on my motorbike. And she wanted me to go to the famous seashore with her. I didn’t know she had another plan that night. So I put aside my work and went. We walked and talked. She had the main topic on her ideal lover and the ideal marriage in the future. I appreciated her trust because I knew a girl seldom talked these to others. When it was ten thirty, when I wanted to go home, she suddenly said, “ Shall we go to Thompson’s place?” Feeling confused, I suspected that all she had done and said was just an excuse for her strict mother who never allowed her to see a young man in that evening. I seemed to be taken for a ride because the seashore was not far from Thompson’s place. Realizing these, I became angry and shouted to her, “No! I don’t like to be the one between you two. I hate to be taken advantage of.” Seeing my anger, she was scared and went to call to cancel the meeting with Thompson. After this, I had to go home with her. Because of anger and disappointment, I drove very fast and she kept on screaming behind me. A few days later, she told me she couldn’t get to sleep that night. I couldn’t, either. Furthermore, I seemed to go through a terrible nightmare and after that night, things went on beyond everybody’s control.When I reached home, it was nearly 11:30. I still couldn’t make myself calm down. The senses of anger, guiltiness and jealousness mixed together. So I dialed my boyfriend’s mobile phone. I need help. I want suggestions. But it was turned down. I kept on dialing until a terrible idea came to my mind. I dialed the number of Thompson’s. Then I went to his place. I talked with him until 3 o’clock the next morning. At last he invited me to have the earliest breakfast and convoyed me home.Kate fell deeply in love with Thompson. It is true that you always strive for something you seem to lose. Every time she discussed something about love with me, it’s the hardest time to me. I couldn’t tell her, “ Give him up. He told me he didn’t love you. But he is not willing to hurt you.” From then on, I regarded Tom as a reliable friend, telling him all my troubles, neglecting Kate was in an unstable mood. Maybe because my curiosity aroused his interest, Tom called several times and told me he was ever moved by Kate’s care to him. Kate was indeed a good girl. But she wasn’t fit for him. He had thought I would tell Kate all about our conversation, so he didn’t hide anything in front of her. But I was afraid to hurt Kate’s feelings, I made it a secret. She couldn’t believe I would steal her lover’s heart. Although I felt her suspicion and explained that Tom and I were just common friends, the volcano exploded when she was told Tom came to my house alone. She cried, “ Some of his behavior is beyond the sphere of a so-called common friend. Why don’t you refuse him? If your meeting and conversation are proper, why don’t you tell me?” I couldn’t answer all her questions as well as I dared not to see through my spirit.Now it is not necessary to tell who is right or who is wrong. After the quarrel, I have never met Kate as well as Tom. And it came sooner or later that my boyfriend and I were apart because of some other complicated reasons. Two months later I was told that Kate and one of my colleagues were in love. Another six months later the news came that they got married. I wish sincerely that the marriage would be a new beginning to her. But all this is just the memory I want to forget.
Dear Mary, Thank you for your comment and advice last time. I always wish I could have more time to stay in this forum. I hope to read more wonderful posts and share the feelings of joy and sorrow with others. No matter how your post is or whether your opinions are right or wrong, there is always some good-willed care for you. I really enjoy it. I hope others have the same feeling as me.Rosemary
