To Mother - 王朝网络

To MotherDec.20th is mother’s birthday, be ashamed to say, I bore it in mind only two years ago for Macao’s return happened to be on the same day. Before that, during the past eighteen more years, son as I am, I had paid little attention to mother’s history including the days important to her life and the experiences influential to her future as if her existence merely came along with my birth, what I care was just how much I could get from mother but not how to satisfy her even slightly and need less to say how to repay so profound and unselfish affection. Tracing back the way of my growing up equals to reviving mother’s yesterday dream. The road past was long and uneven, but accompanied with mother and her love I have made every step cautiously and steadily as I did in her dreams. All the scenes concerning we two were imprinted on my vision which I yet retain—worn but not obliterated. I was a natural crier. When I was a little baby in swaddle, I could do nothing but to scream to hoarse. My bursting into tears was as frequent as rainfall in south spring, and once provoked the cry might last from morning to night even overnight. If cry amounts to sorrow, it couldn’t be a revealment of my temporal mood for there was no reason for a baby in his mother’s warm arm to be out of happiness, there is no one else but mother suffered all the sorrow alone and silently. I can imagine how apprehensive and helpless a mother would feel in heart when seeing tears overflowing on her baby’s face. I know that during that period mother held me all day weeping my crying and rejoicing for my quietness. Two years elapsed like this, mother was tortured by me, a hysterical infant, in that fashion but never lost heart, she tried her best to coax me to laugh one hand, and devoted a portion of the poor income to subscribe a child-educated monthly named “Must to parents” to learn rational cultivating methods another hand. At last, the most important stage of my growing up ended up without any “sequela” left. I said good-bye to my ignorant babyhood, which, left nothing but memory and recorded no other than deep mother love of this kind. With mother’s blessing and curiosity of my own, I began my school life at six. Fortunately, everything went well on my studying. I could do it better than all other classmates in almost all subjects. Thanks to the heaven-born keen mind or the effective advanced education tipped the scales, I didn’t know, but what I sure is that it was my dear mother who I should be grateful no matter which was chosen, but at that time, on the part of a transparent child, I was inclined to the former naturally, then brought out in mind many self-satisfied thoughts which lead to my conceited saying and doing. Mother noticed that acutely. Instead of giving me a lesson or letting it be, she tackled it by means of reducing her praise and raising the standard for me to earn her compliment. Good marks I got one by one, while her level ascended in the same pace. Each time I brought back home a good news, mother typically showed no signs of contentment—in fact, were I some more sensitive, I should have detected the light of commendation glistening in her eyes. The words, when I thought I well deserved a phrase of praise which I would no doubt got instead, saying: “My little boy, take leave what you’ve got, Okay? I wonder how delighted I’ll be in my dream if my son do it better next time…” From then on, to earn some praising words from miserly mother had become one of my greatest wishes. I made great effort on studying and tried best to keep myself out of vanity and conceit. Like this, I fell in the “trap” set by mother purposely with no grumble. Assumed as a close instructor for her son, mother navigated my way not only on studying but involved many tiny connections in the conduct of life. She placed emphasis on cultivating my faculty of doing some kinds of housework. Her standpoint was quoted that: “Doing housework is an efficacious way to coordinate hands and brain. If one person is incapable of doing so minor matters, what else could he be expected to do?” I was reluctant to follow first and often got into arguments with her. Gradually, I slid to her side somehow. As a result, when I showed my so-so cooking in front of my friends, I could find admiration on their faces and sense of pride in my heart. It is also my mother who made it to be. I think, actually, all I benefited from that was in fact far beyond the show itself. As well as guide on my way hand in hand, mother created an atmosphere of democracy in home together with my father. Mother had never imposed her will on me. If she did consider it necessary to correct my mind, she would manage to convince me by ordered logic and ample arguments after listening to my statement in patience. Occasionally, I held the true in hands “carelessly”, failed to persuade me, she would made no bones about her mistake and give up her opinion frankly but not to blush for that, nor to bind my mind for her prestige before me. Under her special guide, I developed my ability to tell the rights from the wrongs, and brought forth up my young mind independent values and characters, which made the road of my future directional. So open-minded mother do I have, I could not help sharing all my thoughts with her. In some content, she is a confidante more than an elder generation of mother. I often speak to her my bosom freely including that which teacher I liked most and many anecdotes about him or her; that how to treat my certain friend and how we got along with each other; that what’s my most apparent shortcomings as well as good points and what I should do to detract or add them; and even that which girl was my favourite and which aspect on her, exterior or interior, attract me most. Seeing from expanded horizon, mother give me, his son, vaster sky to hover in and wider ocean to cruise in, which was simply a kind of extravagant hope for the major age-mates in my hometown, a remote county town. With a mother like this, normally, I should have been in full satisfaction and never do those might hurt her. Having been enjoying the happiness from my first day, I was unaware of my luckiness. I just considered all I got from parents as of course. Sometimes, I went to length of going against mother. Once upon a time, I remember, in a summer evening, to insist upon my view—which proved wrong later—on something, and to express my resolve on that, I, a headstrong boy, quarreled with mother irrationally and left home to threaten her. That night, I wandered aimlessly on a suburban path. I could imagine how worried and grievous my mother felt meanwhile. She dare not believe the fact that her son, who she poured on all her love, threatened his mother by such cruel measures. Thanks God brought all mother’s feeling to that self-lost boy and recalled him mother’s tender smile and her eyes flowing with love. The hard ice in his heart melted to nothing in no time when facing the flaming memory. The boy turned around towards home at last. To my surprise, when I came back home, there was no blaming awaiting, what I got were a cup of hot milk on the writing desk as usual and a subtle piece of words from mother: “Here you’re back…” I ‘m dumb to response but went straight to my room. Milk mixed with my tears flowing into my mouth—sweet and saline; while my heart was filled with the regret mixed with gratitude—bitter and moving. I’m glad to see that my pen kept working under my mind’s control without being aware of exhaustion. Yeah, like this, whenever I recollected scenes in older days that consisted of mother and myself, my mind would run away from my skull and fly to a faraway place where lives my mother. I know now she must be throwing all her energy to her business. Mother have run the clothing store for nearly ten years. She experienced as many rains and winds as the sunshine I’ve enjoyed during this decade. As her sweats accumulated, we lived a much better life than used to be. However, mother’s youth and health became the very cost. Long term of being outside, diet habit was destined to be disorder, which come to the key cause of her serious gastritis. Mother turned thinner and thinner day by day, and seemed much older. Many of her friends wondered her keeping working hard and even extending the scope of her operating since money was enough to comfortable and son in Tsinghua never need her worrying about. I think, I know totally my dear mother. I know that too much mother suffered, she hadn’t ever enjoyed father love from the day she felt the world and shared one mother with several sisters, so giving me as more as she could became another way to come true on his son her dreams in which she’s longing for more affection. Also I know that mother have drafted a brilliant blueprint for his son, so to afford his higher education or even to prepare for his undertaking’s starting in the future, she gave up peace life and went on striving as before. Through the telephone line, I entreated mother to reduce her work and keep healthy, she replied me with a relaxed voice which was so familiar and remained tender as every word she spoke to me, saying: “Silly boy, mum needn’t your worry, mum know it exactly that my body is not merely of my own, and neither are yours, I will take care of myself under you and your father’s hard supervision, baby, I don’t hope worries on mum shall share your priceless school time…” Mum, if only these words do parallel with what you’ll do! Mum, the final examination coming, it is not far from the day I’ll go back home. Although my stay this holiday will be short, mum, do believe, my heart always keep going on around you across the space and time, without even one second’s absence, and since the umbilical cord was cut off eighteen years ago, our lives were closely bound up with each other by another ligament named telergy or named love. Mum, now I was striving for a brighter tomorrow as you hope. I still remember, one night last winter, you, who seldom gave me direct praises, told me through the line that you and father have been feeling pride in me. Thank you, mum! You know how exciting when I heard those words I’ve long wished. I’m making my every effort to prove that you and Dad shan’t be disappointed. You birthday is Dec.20th, which is not far away, which I will never forget again. Mum, “Happy Birthday” in advance! Forgiving my writing this article to you in English, for I don’t wanna to adorn this plain paper with cut and polished Chinese words, which may do nothing but degrade son’s piety. I’d rather sing it out in unskilled English. I think, limited by my poor English, I’m not able to describe you and your love in speed, I may get more and more time to reflect on every scene in my mind, and to let out flowing from the tip of pen the flood of all my passions! Mum, I love you forever!!!