There is a legend about a bird It sings just once in its life More sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. It is called “Thorn Bird” From the moment it leaves the nest It searches for a thorn tree and does not rest until it has found one It impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine Singing a beautiful song among the savage branches And, dying The whole world stills to listen and God in His heaven smiles But no one knows what the song means------- I am a common girl who tries her best to look for her own happiness. Having been hurt by my first love, I used not to believe in so-called LOVE. In my eyes, all the things are gray, without sunshine, without true love------UNTILL I met him. He does not belong to the kind I have imagined in my mind. I am a weird girl. If I dislike someone, whatever he does for me, I will not let him into my world. He is the one I do not dislike, and to some extent, I like him, from the moment I saw him. He has so excellent eyes, so clear, so bright. Just like every love story, we fell in love. He is so kind to me and loves me so deeply. We are like two thirsty guys in water, enjoying the love between us. But the failure of my first love is a shadow following me here and there. I always feel like crying when he is beside me. I am afraid, indeed. I am afraid of losing him, just like the boy in my first love. From my first love, I learn that the more you pay, the more you will lose. Every moment I want to show my love to him, I dare not. Every moment I want to tell him something, I swallow my words. Every moment I want to stare at him, I pretend not to notice him. In a word, I am very weak. I cannot accept his love with heart and soul. We often have quarrels for little things. When he is sad, I am also very sad, but I have no courage to comfort him, although I do not know why. Yesterday we had a quarrel again. He said he could not feel my love to him, he said he could not withstand my ignorance of him, and what is more, we spoke of DEPARTURE, I was so astonished that I even did not know what to say. I felt that my feet were so heavy. I just wanted to go home, for I felt so cold outside. “I want to go back, that is true.” He looked at me with eyes wide open. “OK, go back and never feel regret!” He ran away so rapidly. His figure disappeared in the dark. Tears came out of my eyes, rolling along my face into my mouth, so salty, so cold. I tried to contact with him, no use. He suddenly disappeared, in the dark, in the wind, from my world. I cried, like a child, he could not hear me. Why did not I tell him that I could not leave him? Why did not I show my love to him? Why did not I have the courage to love him fully? WHY? Finally, I see, I am just like a thorn bird. My past is the thorn tree, the failure of my first love is the spine. I always live in the past, I do kill myself by the spine, but I forget to get a new life, to accept a new world. The legend is just a legend. At last, the bird died. I am a live person, I don not want to die, for I am still young and I have so good a boy to love me. He did run away, but I will take pains to let him back. The thorn bird has been dead, what it left to us is the beautiful song, a song about death and pains. I do not want to fall into the same pit, I want to sing songs, not about death and pains, but about reliving and hope. PS: Dear Jenny,
It’s my first time to come to this spectacular forum and I really like it! Can I join in you all?
Hope you have a nice day!
Lily
