Today I noticed an article entitled lifetime friendship by chance, which remind me again to write you My friend ke xin a letter. I like to make friends with anyone who is honest, kind including you. Because of some reasons such as far distances, different attitudes to life and things happening around, few friends I made in childhood keep in touch with me now. You are the one of exception, though. We slept on one bed when we were students in second schools(two little carefree girls). Our friendship lasts for about 11 years, which dues to our efforts to develop it tighter. In fact there are so many difference between us. I am optimistic and satisfied with almost all the things, I always think I am a lucky guy to have a happy family, especially an elder brother who cares me and has me as his friends to share his joy and sorrow, have a few bosom friends including boys and girls. You are a special one of them, because we are peasants’ girls, we entered different colleges and so on, as a result, we have many ideas in common. But you are always fragile and think you are unfortunate to have a cold-hearted father, two careless brothers, especially think all the persons around you live better than you and most of them are unfair with you as well as the god! Ke xin, I persuaded you again and again to forgive your parents, because they love you forever deeply. There is a saying in China;” there is no hatred between parents and children over one night “. Let alone your parents have been regretting hurting you for about 12 years. Why forgive them? Do you know your mother one time told me that story tears on her face and wanted me to help you, accompany you when you are in trouble. Of course, I could feel she hope that you could call her mom happily again, especially open your heart to them. I convinced you that only if you are warm- hearted and kind to persons around you first, they can open their heart to accept you. But you always hate to talk with them, thinking they are selfish or not credible, or dare to trust them. I told you once again that if they cheated you , you then could know one person better then keep away from him/her, but you tried, maybe you could make new friends fortunately. Why not trust the others first, or unmask first, furthermore let them find you are a great girl! I can not remember in 11 years, how many letters I wrote to you, how many times we talked attitudes to various things on the phone, but this time I felt tired and helpless. You called me telling me you like a boy, I encouraged you to pursue him, at least tell him your feelings. You think it is not appropriate for a girl to pursue a boy. Now you told me he was going to marry another girl, you only wanted to cry and chatted with one person. Once again I became an loyal audience and your friends , your sister( though you are one year elder than I). “ if you love him in your heart, tell him. Or let it be, forget him and think of him as a common friend”. “you do not know, I will not pursue him. You do not know how depressive I feel in this company. Now I have nothing.........”, you shouted at me.“no, you are healthy , having your loved parents, brothers and a cute nephew and some friends, what’s more, you have a satisfying work which makes you live independently………..”On the phone I wanted to show my care and love to you, one hour and half later I had to hang up the telephone because money in my account is run out of . Yesterday you called me again, but you only said “ I am going to be mad, I feel uneasy in my heart” I kept silent, frankly speaking I did not know how to comfort you again. We said nothing on the phone, After one while, you hanged up the phone. Tears flew along my cheek. To tell you the truth, kexin, I met lots of setbacks, of course, I had the feelings similar to you when I was a college student. But I am eager to face colorful life tomorrow. I fix myself and keep myself curious about surroundings rather than indifference to everything. Sometimes I sob but tomorrow I am myself, confident, energetic and passional. I am used to forget those sorrowful things happening to me by writing them in my diary, remember happiness and share them with my friends.Kexin, I love you and care you! But this time I feel helpless!
These two days I moved to one college classmate’ house to calm myself. Though I watched the football game, I knew I was caring her, but I did not know how to comfort her this time. This title promotes me to write this. It is rather a piece of diary than a letter. But because jenny , mary , rii-chen and panpanpan and so many wise and kind persons here, I want to share this with you. Any comment and advice is welcome!2002.6.19
