As you know, I've been longing to go to school since I was forced to drop out of school when I was a little girl. I've been longing to join in company of boys and girls at my age. But I've never been so lucky to realize the longings. School still remains a holy place for me to worship. It should try best not to be stained with the bad, I thought.
Now I have reached to an English level that allows me to have high school students learn my writing. So I wanted to give it a try. I asked my friend who is a senior in high school to present one of my articles, through her English teacher, to her class. My intention is of no evil, but out of my desire to help her classmates to learn English. But my first attempt to try was faded by her rejection and a lot of complaint.
She said I had to think for her. What would the other 49 students think if she gave it to the teacher?
She said, "The teacher would announce that the article was from her, and the fellow students would say that I was in special favor of the teacher. When he gave it to them, they would certainly toss it away even without a look at it."
"Why would they do that? I thought the phrases and expressions and grammar points in my article would do them good."
"You're so kind and naïve, but don't assume they like to be given such an extra piece of homework." She said, "They wouldn't appreciate your kindness because they are really tired of studying. Most of them take naps during classes, and they copy each other's homework. Besides, we are seniors, and it is a time when 'good things can't be shared'. Every one strives for the pivotal exams. They don't care about others but only about themselves because they don't want to be surpassed. If you share a good thing, they will think you mean ill"
"Why do they behave like this?" I said complainingly. My high spirit was being drooped low.
"I didn't tell you the worst part," she said, "that you won't believe it. If a student is praised by a teacher, I will hear there are lots of voices whispering how the one tries to draw the teacher's favor. If I or some others get a problem wrong, they will laugh and say how foolish the answer is."
"Maybe your school is a poor one. I am sure in some good high schools students behave better." I said in a hopeful voice.
"Don't be so sure. No. 1, 3, and 9 are considered to be schools with high quality, but I hear from students there that many of them are even worse. They fight with policemen. They drink. They laugh at someone who makes mistakes. Some of them even disparage teachers!"
"Well," my heart sank lower than ever, "you can't even give it to your desk-mate, can you? She is able to read it, since her English is the best in your class."
"98 percent of my classmates are girls. You won't hear a word from the other during class-breaks. It is too noisy, you know. You're too kind. Be careful that someone will take advantage of you." She said quietly.
I quickly changed another topic to avoid our possible argument.
Maybe only grades are in so significant importance to teachers, to parents, to students, that they overlook the real importance of being humans. When they finally realize it, it is probably too late.
Friends, you must have gone through a few years in high school. What was the time like? Is there anything you will never forget that happened in your class? If you think it's worth sharing, it shall be certainly shared. :-)
Jenny
