Dear Sunshinetop,
Of course, I agree with you that it is safest for health and best for the marriage to be chaste before marriage and faithful during marriage, and that goes for both the man and the woman.
Someone wrote to me by message string to say that the word "sex" is really shocking in China. I think all of you need to find and be able to use the proper words so you can use them to teach, think about and understand these things.
You asked if I think that schools and colleges should teach about sex and and the dangers. They can help a lot with teaching about some things to do with sexuality, but really, it is the parents who need to be the teachers. They need to teach their children gradually and kindly through the years, from very early in life. They need also to live by what they teach.
Parents are often not sure how to do this, or are very embarrassed, so there is a great need for wise and gentle guidance of parents in how to do this at differet ages. In the beginning and always it has to do with respect, as Forence suggested, and privacy, and always self respect.
It has to do with girls having a kind and present father, so that they don't miss the male in their lives and finally turn to the arms of boys. Fathers need to be confident enough of themselves that they can hug their daughters and sons, all their lives, and can spend time with them. Can give encouragement and respect, too. Not just mothers should do these things. There is a lot to it, but it really isn't so very hard if you have courage and wise guidance, think about it and determine to do it, and you take care with your children.
I speak as a mother of four and a grandmother of eight who have all done well and have not gone astray. I see that my sons-in-law have taken this advice about fathering to heart, and that their teenaged girls are not needy and have a calm attitude about boys, instead of needing their attention so much.
I really think that mothering and fathering well is one of the greatest answers. The schools, especially high schools and colleges, get the children too late in life, and how can teachers fill the gaps in the hearts of the young people if the parents haven't built the necessary self respect, confidence and contentment? How can teachers find the quiet times to sit and talk with each child in comfort and trust. This is the work of parents.
Teachers will be embarrassed before all the strange youth, and students will be embarrassed before the teachers, no doubt. How are their individual questions and concerns to be answered?
Teachers can give factual knowledge when it is missing, but parents should really do it, all through the years. Parenting is a sacred responsibility, but our world has too little respect for it, and is usually not organized well for both parents to be able to have time to do the good parenting.
Thank you for your reply to my post. I think you will do fine. Continue to be confident of your own sound judgement and to stay informed.
Best wishes, Mary
