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Men will have pensions based on what they earned during their working lives, to keep them in their old age. Women who have worked hard at home and family don'thave any because they had no income to base them on and couldn't pay into pension funds. How could they? In Canada men have that pension, based on their earnings, in addition to their Old Age Security pensions and savings. Women who work at home and family have only their Old Age Security pension. Since they were only "house wives" and were not paid or much appreciated for their contributions they don't have the additional pension to bring them to a decent level of old age income. Further more, they usually had to depend on their husbands for any money their had for their own needs and development during their working lives at home. This is keeping them in the position of children. So, regardless of all their necessary, varied work, requiring many varied skills and intelligence, hard working women who didn't leave home and children to earn money at some job not requiring half the skills, are often poverty-stricken inold age. Women who have been at home for years doing a good job on their children's raising, find themselves unable to return to good jobs in the workplace because of lack of up-to-date experience. Usually they end up with much lower paying work than they would have had if they had stayed single and built careers.
Old women are the ones most likely to be living below the poverty line. Old women, and single families headed by a woman (again), are those in poverty most often. Some man, having made children with her and then left is not paying much inthe way of child support for what are equally his children. There are laws to bring child support but many men manage to avoid them. Most often women accept the burden of raising the family alone. Although there are even court judgements that the fathers must pay their share, still, many men manage to avoid doing so. They prefer to keep their money for themselves, or for their new wife and family with her. A lot of injustice in this situation, isn't there!
It is a big problem. Of course, there are good men who accept their responsibilities for their children and do help to maintain them. Nevertheless, familiesheaded by women, without a father in the home, are usually the ones in poverty.
What is the solution for women? It isn't a true solution to abandon your children to others to raise, and go out to earn money. But that's what happens here nore often than not. Even in single parent families the mothers are expected to be father and mother both, and to also go out to work at jobs to earn money for their families.
It is clear to me that society needs to be rearranged in ways more supportive ofwomen. I have given this a great deal of thought so that I could guide my own three daughters. In the end there is no good solution under the present societal structures. So my daughters have done what I did, stayed home and raise excellent children. That was their sacrifice. The way society is arranged requires women to make hard choices and sacrifices. This shouldn't be necessary. There are job-sharing and other innovations that work, but these are few and far between. There aren't enough day-cares associated with work places.
Society, men and husbands need to value what wives, mothers and all women contribute. Unfortunately, there is still not enough of that. This generation of teens here is showing damage that has happened to many due to abandonment to strangers raising them, with both parents working. The results is becoming more shocking all the time. These really terrible situations are the extreme, but I believe all children in such circumstances are sustaining some degree of damage. It isn't a normal way to live.
Is the solution for women to go home again and do their necessary work at home in the family, and remain dependent, unpaid, unrespected, and then as a final reward, poverty stricken in their old age? Of course not! There has to be the will to change this and all men should understand the great value of what women contribute and support proper change.
Men had better think what they get out of their half of the relationship and begin to insist that women be valued. Otherwise civilization is going to take more and more of a blow. The only reason yours in China still does better for the children is because grandmothers are still willing to continue at home and raisethe children. What will you do when grandmothers become more independent and not a source of free labour any more, because they have their own lives?
What do women desire in their lives?
I would say we women who have thought it through in my country, and your country, according to what I see here, want love, affection, caring and respect; to be able to be independent and self-supporting if the need arises; to be healthy; to take care of our loved ones and see that they thrive; to make a comfortable and happy home; to be consulted by and and to consult our husbands, and to have each's opinions valued, to make plans together.
To have our work in the home and family understood and valued. To have our work valued monetarily by the society. To have excellent children and grandchildren. To see our children all grow up, and none of them or our husband have to go to war or be menaced in any way. To have good health and dental care for all of us.
To be able to walk any of our streets at any time of the day or night in safety. To be able to travel alone in safety. To have pleasant, healthy, and even beautiful surroundings, both at home and in the larger world. To live in a country that values culture, and other cultures.
To have time to develop our minds, and talents. To be faithful through love, and not to have to fear other's infidelity. To have occasions and facilities for developing of talents and minds available to all of us, such as good libraries, college and university courses, recreation facilities and so on, and these should be affordable. To see our children well and happily married. To have the world ordered so that we women can develop and increase our intellectual and creative skills at various times in life. To make our contribution to the larger society through our meaningful work after our children are independent enough to be left for a time each day. To know our children are taught by good and qualified teachers and are safe. To be supported in all this by the attitudes of the society at large.
To live a comfortable, interesting, healthy, secure and respected old age, together with our dear husbands, with children and grandchildren near enough. To be remembered with love, and as good examples for others to follow, when we are no longer here.
Warmly, Mary
