Learning English, for a foreigner to this kind of language, is always hard and tedious. For me, one studying in university now, in most time I follow the methods the current school authority offer us. During the past two years I read, wrote, listened, spoke a lot. Then passed CET(College English Test) Band-4 and Band-6.
At that moment I got excited for I felt my English level must have been much better then ever. But later a thing happened which totally frustrated and depressed me. I began to doubt myself, and the school as well.
The thing happened one day when I passed by the school cabinet by chance. There I found a notice on which said a tutor was needed to teach a middle school student from Singapore. English proficiency is needed and a must. Then you know, I called the family immediately without any hesitation.
The day after that they asked me to go there for a interview. I was still pretty confident at that time. And in fact the result was like what I had supposed to be. I got the part-time job. The parents liked me and all agreed that I was fully qualified.
So the only problem left is how I would teach the student. For this I prepared a lot despite last year I had got one experience to teach a foreigner. The only difference is just that one is a primary school student, and this one comes from middle school.
I was almost very sure that I could be a good tutor and the student likewise would like me. Then the day was coming, I brought a textbook, one I supposed proper and fit for him, to his home. But as soon as I began to teach, I immediately found his level, at least the vocabulary number he had mastered, was pretty out of my expectation.
During the break he showed me the textbook he used in the last semester. Although it was totally different from our Chinese English textbook, I had to admit its degree of difficulty was like our textbook for Grade 2-3 of Senior high school. And we got the different ways to learn the language.
They comparatively less focused on grammatical rules, whereas put more emphasis on building vocabulary. I was ashamed but had to admit that, when skimming the book, I found some new words in it. When asking the student to explain something, he also would use some words I was not very familiar with.
So reading this, you must had guessed what’s the result. I quitted, despite not willing to. Saying unwilling to is because I refused to face the reality, the one that my English was so poor comparing to someone whose native language was English.
Just like what I had mentioned, I began to doubt myself and the criteria used to value students’ English level. I was like a small fish in a big pond. I was nobody. I got lost when thinking of this. For most non-English major students, passing CET-6 is their incentive and purpose. Passing that than you would be told your English is pretty good. But the point is, is that so? Is that indeed the truth?
As for myself, now in mind I just put myself into a very low level, I no longer feel proud of myself. This experience was depressing to some extent. But maybe just like one saying goes, no pain, no gain. Despite frustrated, I feel I fortunately begin to know more about myself. And at least that’s not bad.
