Dear Atom,
Yours is an important question. I would like to reply. It seems to me that it is best to do both, but to place study before your enjoyment of love.
By this I mean you need to build a good foundation for your future family. So be sure to do your studying before you go out with your love. However, don't forget to keep your eyes open for people who are doing the same thing. Among them you may find lifelong friends, or a good mate.
When you see someone of the opposite sex, whom you admire, doing the same thing, you will have found a person with self discipline and good judgement. A person who can control their desires for the best end result. Such a person will be an excellent mate for you, if all else is also good between you.
In conversation, share with others about why you are putting your studies first, before enjoyment of romance. It is because you know how important it is to build a firm foundation for your whole future. You also keep your eyes open for interesting people of the opposite sex, and build friendships with both sexes for strong, happy memories, or lifelong friendships, or even a prospective mate.
If you "speak your truth", as it is called here these days, the word will get around and people will know the kind of a balanced, thoughful and interesting person you are. You will be a person with excellent prospects for the future. That may not attract the ones who want to play at romance now, and flit from flower to flower, but it should interest and encourage other people like you, and they will feel comfortable with you. With friends who have this same approach to life you will find it easier to keep your balance and accomplish all that you need to.
You need to be now, and to continue to become your best self. This is for your own sake, for your future marriage and family sake, for your parental families' sakes, for your country's sake, for the world's sake.
I think you can find her, or him, as the case may be, while you are in first, or second, or fourth year of college, or even after that. But you both need to establish your foundtions, while you are maintaining a friendship.
Therefore, Then you must discover how to "keep all your plates spinning". (The imagery in this saying is of a juggler who is entertaining people by managing to toss plates into the air, one at a time, and then to keep them all spinning without dropping any of them. That is your challenge, and this is the time of your life when you need to learn how to do it. Later, when you have other kinds of plates to keep spinning well you will have learned how and life will be much better for your mate and family because you know how to do it.
Kep balance in your life. Sleep, eat, exercise, take some recreation, a little time with friends, study, classes and exams, and your family. Give each their due according to demands at the time. Sometimes give one little more and another a little less. But keep all those plates spinning in the air all the time.
Good luck to you, Since you are contemplating this question I believe you can do it!
Warmly, Mary
