I travelled to the Gold Coast and Great Barrier Reef in Queensland of Australia this winter vocation. During the trip, I shared the hotel with a sweet girl, who studies law in the East China University of Political Science and Law in Shanghai. She is one year younger than me, so I took her as my little sister, and took care of her, especially on the ship to the Great Barrier Reef, since she suffered from severe sickness.
We made good friends with each other. Afterwards, I also invited her to visit my university, since it’s believe to be the oldest, largest and most beautiful campuses in Sydney. She accepted and then came three days before she went back to China. I invited her to a simple lunch in the canteen of my university, and then saw her off to the bus station. A week ago, she wrote and shared with me her current life as a student lawyer in a lawyer office in Shanghai. I was very happy, and wrote her back with such a long letter.
I just pasted it here as a short summary of my present life and state of mind. I want to all friends in this forum to get to know what’s going on with me. As I once wrote in the message to Aluzer that it’s necessary for us to frequently update information on our current life. Yes, I’ve been extremely busy with my two seminar papers, a group project as well as a public campaign this semester, so I can hardly spare extra time to work on some posts as I used to. Anyway this letter, as I suppose, will serve as a reminder of what’s going on with me. I hope some of you will also join in the discussion about my questions. I meant your viewpoint on suffering, and how to live in a logic way. Many thanks! 29 August,2004
Dear Lulu,
As you said, time really flies. I have been in Sydney for half a year. Looking back those days, there’re both joys and sufferings.
The happiest thing as I suppose is to travel around Australia, during which I also met and made good friends with you. You know, to take care of you during the journey (when it was necessary) really made me feel sort of proud, because I began to act as a real grown-up, which I have always been looking forward to. Yes, one major reason why I went overseas study is to become more mature. I bet I still have a long way to run, and there must be so many other difficulties and problems ahead. Nerveless, I felt empowered the moment it hits me that I’m by no means alone. Yes, I get my beloved parents and good friends such as you thinking of me, and blessing for me far away in China. Thank you very much indeed, I’d like to say.
Then, the saddest thing as I suppose is the scar left in my left arm. You know, I had been crying until I was not able to shed one more drop of tears that night. So painful and impressive! It still remains so fresh in my mind as if it had just happened a moment ago. I think I won’t forget it in the rest of my life.
These days, I’ve been talking with Suky, one of my best friends here, about the meaning of sufferings. Say, suppose you’ve survived the extremely difficult situation, what will you think and react when it occurs again? I don’t know whether you’ve got similar experience, like struggling to survive or live a better life in the adversity or something like that. I bet you haven’t, since you come from such a good family without any need to worry about money, which may also assist you to fulfill most of your dreams, such as traveling abroad. You know, many of ordinary people in China will never afford such a luxurious dream. I haven’t got through sufficient sufferings either. Half a year is such a short period of time when compared with your lifetime. Well, the point I want to make here is that we should cherish what we’ve got, and take more pains if possible, just as the saying goes: “No pains no gains”. Yes, that’s exactly the motivation to support me struggling against all kinds of difficulties in my overseas study and life.
Last week, I had to walk three or four hours to put advertisement flyers into others’ mailbox (it’s the promotion time of my shop). I felt I had already traveled thousand miles, maybe a little bit exaggerated, but I was truly exhausted after such a long march. Once I did want to give up, since the pay was low, but I changed my mind later as I know I need more difficulties to exercise myself. Afterwards, I stuck to it until the end. I felt very happy regardless of the physical fatigue.
My friend seems to take a very pessimistic attitude that even you survive the adversity, once it occurs again; you will suffer the same pain one more time. I simply don’t agree, for me, once you survive, you are getting stronger. For instance, everyday I have to carry a very heavy bag filled with food, water, and books (sometimes laptop too) to walk for a long distance. (See, that’s the only chance for me to take exercises, though I cannot do other sports such as tennis as you’ve always been doing.) At first, I might think the bag is too heavy for me, but the more I walk the less heavy I feel it weighs. The same goes to adversity in our lives, once it occurs for the first time, we may take it as unendurable, and even feel we are going to die, but the more similar situations we get through, the more we are able to get used to them, and the less they will really hurt. What’s your opinion on this issue then?
Well, I also think it doubles my chance to learn more in such a group with much experienced classmates. Last time, I’ve discussed with that girl from CCTV about how to achieve in job-interviews, since she has never failed in any of them since her graduation. The basic principles that she has told me are confidence, good preparation, and fully present of your advantages. It’s a market-economy society, maybe everything is sort of commodity, including talents. We have to learn how to promote or say “sell” ourselves. As for this, I really lack of confidence, and I think I need to learn more.
It’s a pity that I still failed to spare time to go to see psychology doctor in my university. As I’ve told you last time, I take it as necessary and important, as I really want to learn something to be the master of my own emotions. Psychological consultation serves as a dictionary; you come to check it to confirm something. It doesn’t necessarily mean you must have got some problems. I think maybe the traditional concept in China needs to be changed a little bit.
Thanks for your concern over my wellbeing, but you needn’t worry at all. I’m old enough to look after myself very well. You know, I’ve paid more attention to my diet. I add fruits, yes, oranges, bananas, pears (They are not expensive.) Do you believe that I even seldom eat them when I was in China? Now I just urge myself to do so, because I know I need to. Besides, I go to bed before 11:00 everyday. I have sound sleep.
Lulu, I don’t think the work of sectary is pointless. On the contrary, I think it calls for very good logic, say, you have to arrange everything in a good order to keep it going on smoothly. Therefore, just cherish this opportunity to further improve your ability of it. I can fully understand the sense of achievement and pride fill in you when you finish your previous unknown task in the course of learning. It’s proven that learning something new will make us feel more energetic and even younger, so let’s work together to learn and make progress everyday. As a matter of fact, I seem to lack logic. It has turned out to be an obsession for me these days. I don’t know how to arrange things in a good order, say which one should come first, and which one next, and which one should be the last. As a result, I may mess things up from time to time. Maybe you can give me some advice on this, thanks.
I believe you must have learnt a lot from the organization of that dinner party. Did you have a good time in it? Or have you met and been able to talk with some influential persons? I just can’t wait to share more of your stories.
Oh, I almost forget to mention that I prefer jobs in newspaper rather than TV station from my past experience. If it permits, I want to work for an English newspaper after graduation. Humm, China Daily must be the best choice for me, but I know I have to work even harder before I try.
By the way, have you watched Olympic Games? I’ve always been keeping a close watch at the performances of our sportspersons. I’m quite emotional during the whole process, sometimes, I even wanted to cry. Maybe it’s cause I’m now abroad, which makes me always beer in mind my real identity as a overseas Chinese student, being proud of my own country.
Ok, I must stop here. Wish you happy, and I’m looking forward to your reply.
Yours love, Joan
