Dear Leslie and forum friends,
I'm sorry Leslie, that you have learned of so many and such deep sorrows all at once. . It's hard for a young woman to carry so much on her heart. About your article "To Die or Be Alive." I don't know if the question has to do with suicide, or not. If it does for anybody, then you can be sure that life is better than choosing death. We don't have the right to take our own lives because they don't belong to us. They belong to their Maker.
Of course the question may be whether those who are dead are better off than those they left behind. In circustances where those who died didn't lead a good life, or died before their time, I think the answer is its always better to be alive. While a person is still here they can change their ways or do something worthwhile. After they leave their sphere of activity that isn't open to them any more.
If a person died for something noble, and they didn't seek to cause their own death, I expect good flows from their deed here and their death is probably understandable to those they leave behind, and won't be the cause of such terrible trouble. Likely good things will flow down through time from whatever good they accomplished here by their deeds.
These three tragedies were presented in descending order of apparent fault. In the first it appears clear that the husband betrayed his wife with a mistress. The rest of the damage flowed from that betrayal. We don't know what has been going on in any marriage behind closed doors, we know surface appearances. A betrayal clearly happened here, and was the cause of more tragedy. Would it have been better if the husband died in the accident? I don't know. Probably not.
In the second case, we don't know why or who, if anyone, was the cause of the divorce. The divorced mother may now try to return to her son and the old mother-in-law to help them. We don't know if the mother-in-law played any part in the divorce.
In the third case a man has liver cancer. There is a lot of drinking and smoking in Chinese culture. Could that have played a part in some cases of liver cancer? Can some health problems be avoided if livers aren't over-burdened and irritated by toxic substances? I don't know if cancer is one of them. We don't know how some sufferers have lived so we can't judge their tragedies, either.
I believe thee important thing is not to judge, and have tried to show why we shouldn't judge by these three examples that were provided here. It doesn't mean that these thoughts really apply to these people. How would I ever be ableto know that about them, or usually about anybody!
The pure truth exists, but we don't know what that truth is. If this life really is a "soul school", then we have to learn from our errors. The thing is for us to learn that we can be the authors of our own misfortuned and to change our ways. Also to learn how not to cause anyone pain by our mistaken judgements. This is something I've learned because of judgements I've made that seemed to betotally correct. Then I've found out some unimaginable mitigating circumstances. I've always been very glad thens that I said nothing, and only*thought* my misunderstanding thoughts! So "is it is better to live or die?" In my opinion it is worse to die if a person has not lived a well-lived life. Those who "died" are able to remember the lives they lived here and don't forget those they love. If their deaths were caused by poorly lived lives and caused calamity for their families and othersthey now know the pure truth about the whole thing. That must be hell. They'velost the chance they had here to change themselves. What they have left is to ask God to help. They may not be prepared to do that. The thing that may then help is prayers of others for them and for those whose suffering they caused, and to try to help the injured ones.
For somebody who lived a positive life, they will know the pure truth of everything through time that flowed from their actions and the positive outcomes of their lives would be part of heaven for them. The next level of existence isn't bound by time and space so they would know the future effects of their actions downthrough time.
Heaven and hell are inner conditions and exist in this life, too. It has been said that when people are far from God, they are far from the greatest good. When they are near to God they are near to the highest goodness and that helps them to do better. It's best for a person not to take their own life or lose it through folly, because they cut off their chance of fulfilling their life's purpose.
Accidents are more apt to happen when people are upset, distracted and feeling unstable. Things like divorce, being caught with a mistress, excess drinking and smoking, fighting, are things that easily flow from instablility, and cause more of the same, so its better to live in ways that avoid these things. We often don't know if certain deaths are suicides, or accidents, or are caused by mistakes, or happen because the oil in the lamp of life ran out for the one who died, and it was their time to go.
All I know is that it helps a lot in life to try to live in a noble way, rather than an ignoble way. It's easier if we believe God gave us wise laws to live by. This is great motivation to live in nurturing, fruitful ways that build a better civilization and help avoid these terrible sorrows. It's better to die when the oil in your lamp of life for this body runs out.
Each life has a purpose, and we need to be here to fulfil the purpose. We won't know what we really accomplished until we leave this existence. If we are still in this world it means there is still something left for us to do, even unknowingly. I may be right or wrong, but this is what came to mind about the stories shared. I'm truly sorry for those poor people and I hope things will change for the better. I hope you'll grow in wisdom through this terrible burden on your heart, Leslie. And the same for others who have lived through unexplainable sorrows of others. Dove wrote last year about "What will it takefor you to give up your life?" This subject is related to that article, I guess.
This series of circumstances has even wounded you, Leslie, and will have some kind of effect on your life. That unfaithful husband doesn't even know how far the results of his actions have spread. He doesn't even know you know about their situation and were affected. Who knows how widely effects from the things we do can spread?
Warmly and with caring, Mary
