Caught in the Web of the Internet

IN THIS ARTICLE: Getting hooked on the Internet isn't confined to a few computer nerds. It's on the rise everywhere--and women are the most likely addicts. Ingrid Parker, once a slave to Internet chatrooms, found her experiences so devastating that she wrote a book to help other addicts break the habit. --Editor [1]It's the equivalent of inviting sex addicts to a brothel or holding an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting at the pub. Internet addicts tired of their square-eyed, keyboard tapping ways need look no further than the Web for counselling. There is now an online counselling service at www.relate.org.nz for Internet obsessives. Just e-mail the details of your Internet-induced crisis and help comes direct to your inbox. The new breed of cybertherapists see nothing strange about offering help through the very medium that is swallowing their clients' free time and splitting their marriages. [2] Sue Hine, of Relationship Services, says: "Internet obsession has become a more noticeable problem over the last 18 months. At least this is an area addicts are familiar with and they'll be able to use it as a tool to overcome their obsession." Nor do experts worry that the Relate Website might become a favourite--a place to spend hours online in the name of Internet therapy. Dependency is always a risk with any form of counselling. There are various strategies we can adopt to keep that in perspective, says Hine.[3] Though some may regard Internet addiction as another dubious ailment dreamed up to keep therapists in work, Relationship Services says the problem is real.[4] Internet usage is up to four-and-a-half hours on the Web each week, compared to three-and-a-half hours a year ago. Therapist Robin Paul says there tend to be two scenarios. Some people meet through chatrooms and fall in love. It's like having an affair, then they meet and it's like a whirlwind honeymoon. It's devastating for the person left behind and quite often it has no real foundation.[5] I saw one couple who were still together but it was very rocky. He met someone on the Net and went overseas to meet the woman. Then he left his wife and children to be with her. In another case I saw recently, a man left his three children to be with a woman (who was) leaving her four children. It's terribly hard on the kids when this happens.[6] The second scenario is that a person starts spending more and more time on the Net. They may not meet someone else but they don't spend any time with their partner and of course the relationship suffers."[7] Such stories may appear to be almost urban legends, so ashamed are Internet addicts and their partners. After all, who wants to admit they have a 100 a day habit (e-mails, that is) or are somehow less alluring than a piece of hardware? But in America, which has long had a love affair with both therapy and the Net, these stories are common.[8] A recent survey of 17,251 Internet users found nearly 6 per cent had some sort of addiction to the medium. They revealed that their online habit contributed to disrupted marriages, childhood delinquency, crime and over-spending. Tap into online addiction sites and you'll find messages such as: "Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Webaholic."[9] Witness the plight of Ohio woman Kelli Michetti, who literally became a computer hacker because of her husband's constant online chatting. When she crashed a meat cleaver through her husband's computer terminal that solved the problem, although naturally it led to difficulties with the police.[10] Or take the classic Internet addiction story of Ingrid Parker, a woman who became such a slave to the Internet--especially chat rooms-- that it took over her life. She made do with two hours' sleep a night, had marathon weekend computer sessions of up to 17 hours and fell in love with a married man in the US state of Oregon.[11] Her computer dream turned to nightmare when she sold up and moved to be with her cyberpal (who had just left his wife), only to be told a week later that the couple were getting back together.[12] The heart-breaking turn of events gave her the motivation to control her addiction--and write the book Caught in the Web.[13] Dr Kimberly Young, who set up The Centre for Online Addiction (www.netaddiction.com) in America, studied 396 people whom she considered were psychologically dependent on the Net. They ranged in age from 14 to 70 and spent an average of 38.5 hours a week on the Web.[14] Her study, backed by further research in Britain, found that women were more likely to become addicts. So while the old stereotypical addict was a young man who spent hours playing games, downloading software or reading messages on newsgroups, the new image is of a young woman who fritters away hours e-mailing friends, buying books and CDs online, talking in chatrooms and looking for information for next year's holiday.[15] I guess I was a typical example of someone hooked on the Internet," says Parker, who now spends just an hour a day online. "I was coming home at lunchtime to get on the computer. At 6 p.m. I'd feed my son and put him to bed but all the time I was going backwards and forwards to the computer. Then I'd stay up until 5a.m. or 6 a.m., typing away ' chatting' on my computer screen all night."[16] "I learned from my experience with romance on the Net that people aren't always what they seem. The guy I met, for example, was very nice but also quite mixed up. The trouble is you get lonely housewives talking to someone and they think, 'This guy sounds nice compared to what I've got.'"[17] But I don't think anyone who is married or in a sound relationship should really be spending hours talking to someone else and ignoring their nearest and dearest. While Parker provided her own therapy by putting her experiences down on paper, she recommends others take up the online counselling offer, or log off from the Worldwide Web gradually.[18] "It's like smoking. It's not a good idea to suddenly go cold turkey. People often e-mail me about the problem and I tell them to gradually wean themselves off and not to switch to a scheme where you pay per hour for online time. If they break their resolution, all they end up with then is the same old problem plus money difficulties for the long hours they have spent logged in to the Internet."[19] Computer whizz Steve Phillips grins at the mention of Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)--he's been there, done that. Now 28, and a seven-year veteran on the Internet, he spends a mere 10 to 15 hours ' for entertainment" on the Web each week, A few years ago, when he was in the grip of his addiction, that was the amount of time--10 to 15 hours--he spent online each day.[20] "I'd go to polytechnic and log on at 9 a.m. and sometimes I'd stay online until 9 at night. Then I'd go home and plug in the laptop and stay online until 4 or 5 a.m.," says the Internet systems maintenance ex-pert.[26] The habit started hitting hard when he finished his studies in the big city and moved back home. Without the support of a school paid computer, he racked up hundreds of dollars in Internet-related toll bills. The huge expense, followed by a few months offline while he searched for a job, was the wake-up call he needed.[27] "When I got access again it didn't have the same appeal any more. Now I use it more as a tool, but I would say a lot of my friends are addicts. One friend was talking about a deal with a set rate for 200 hours of Internet access a month. He said that wouldn't be enough. I end up counselling people about it because I've been through it. It definitely isn't worth neglecting real-life relationships for romances on the Net. Often they don't work out."[28] Phillips should know. A few years ago he became heavily involved with an American woman he had spent a couple of years chatting to. Wisely, they decided not to make any commitment to marriage until they had met face-to-face. Phillips spent a month in the United States before they agreed the relationship wouldn't work. "Because I've been on the Net so long I've got some good friends that I've been chatting to for years. I occasionally meet people I've talked to online at the pub, and I could certainly travel through America on a budget--I know so many people there.[29] "The Internet is definitely addictive but if you can keep it in control it has advantages, too. Using it can be a steep learning curve so it helps you become very quick at learning. Also there is a huge demand for people in the field of Information Technology (IT) and hours on the Internet are great training."

• ·我的听力之路【VOA】
• ·How do you... P 11 One
• ·How do you.. P10 new co
• ·Do I Speak "Good Englis
• ·Hw do you..P9 A whole n
• ·Game or Project
• ·How...P8-Personality Re
• ·How... P7 别来无恙?
• ·How...P6 旧记忆
• ·How....P4 II Farewell I