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Forever Dream of Beauty of a Sacrificing Mother
来源：洪恩论坛 Canuck's Comments
日期：2005-1-11
作者：joan.blue
阅读：1369 次
“What else do you think I should buy as gifts?” I asked my mum on the phone before returning home after one year’s overseas study.
“Humm, do you think, do you think… there are suitable clothes for me?” much hesitated, mum spoke out the requirement of buying her clothes.
“Buying clothes here for you?” I raised my tone, with surprise and disapproval
.
“Yes. Why not just buy some clothes that are popular among the local women of the similar age?” mum confirmed firmly.
“You must be kidding! Clothes here are too expensive. I seldom buy any myself.
More importantly, Australian women of your age are found even wearing very fancy
small clothes with all their shoulders exposed in the air, do you think any Chinese mid-aged women are brave enough to dress this way?” I rejected her rudely
without thinking too much about her feelings.
A little bit disappointed, mum added, “If it’s inconvenient, then forget it.”
“Well, I’m not saying I’m unwilling to buy clothes for you, but not here in Australia. If I get the salary after the first month’s work in China, I will certainly buy you whatever clothes you like at whatever expense. I promise you.” I
soften my voice, speaking out my opinion.
Actually, I was surprised at what on hell made mum suddenly so interested in dressing. Mum’s reply revealed the answer: “I thought Australian women were very
fat, and then there must be clothes large enough for me.”
Hearing this, I suddenly didn’t know what to say. The door of my mind was widely open, releasing all kinds of emotions. My mother remains very fat and could hardly buy any clothes after my birth. As a result, she seldom goes shopping but has to go to the sewing shops instead. I thought she had lost interest in dressing up. When she complained that I didn’t know how to make up and looked like a rural girl, I got angry and even attacked her in a sarcastic tone that she didn’
t know it either because of her “huge body”. Unlike me, mum seldom argued with me, however insulting my words sounded. I thought she had accepted the brutal
fact of her aging and fat body, and didn’t care about beauty any more. But how
wrong I have been!
Every woman is born with the desire to pursue beauty. Consciously or not, the pursuit for beauty has been melting in the blood and the entire life of each woman
. Ugly or not, it’s also their right to enjoy this dream. How could I treat my
mum like that in the past? I was too selfish, rude and ignorant. What I did was
ignoring, disrespecting or even despising her dream of beauty merely because of
her decaying physical appearance.
Yes, like a flower in the river of time, my mother was once as young and beautiful as a blossoming one, but now she has been withering in the inevitable trend of aging. It suddenly hit me how glorious and shining the smile could be on her face whenever she recalled and shared with me her early life as a popular amateur
actress. But I simply ignored it! I seldom thought about how painful it could
be for a young beautiful woman to lose her proud figure. Vital as it is, she needs it deadly to sustain her glory of performing on stage with flowers and applauses that few women can really rejected. Nevertheless, without any hesitation and
regret, mum gave birth to me, her beloved daughter regardless of the risk of losing all her pride and glory. Mum is mum, such a sacrificing and devoting mother
in the world!
I feel my heart has never been so close to hers. I understand her more than ever
. Not merely her inner deep-hidden dream of beauty, but her complaints and criticisms about me on this aspect. Having lost all her previous glory, my mother transfers and puts all her hope in me, the most treasured person in the world that
has made her sacrifice what she cared most. This is why she can not bear that I
look as plain as Cinderella, seldom dressing myself up…
If it were not my overseas study, I really don’t know how much longer it takes
for me to understand my mum and her forever dream of beauty. From this, I also realize that communication and understanding are not simply based on words. Most
occasions, we don’t speak out what’s truly on our mind for whatever reasons. In this way, we need to keep the eyes of our hearts wide-open. As a famous author
once said, what we see is not through the naked eyes, but our hearts. So friends, let’s use our hearts to see and to feel this beautiful world around us!
PS: About this story and my recent story
Women and beauty is a forever charming topic. Based on my own experiences and thoughts, I just get so much to write about it. In fact, I just wanted to start this article with this little story, but afterwards I wrote more and more, and couldn’t stop. I must admit that I always write very long articles without much control. I really tried to write concisely, but every time, I failed. Therefore, I changed my plan and decided to write about this story as a complete article. I will try to finish the rest part in the coming days. As usual, your comments on this article or topic are welcome.
Of course, my replies are likely to delay due to the limited access to the
Internet, but it won’t take long, because I’m going back home! Less than a week to run! 13th this month. I’m getting so excited, but with great pity as well
. Due to the bad physical condition, and failure in getting someone sharing room
with me during the package tour (I have to spend 300 Australian dollars for extra accommodation in this way), I had to give up the journey to Melbourne, the place I always want to go most. 5555555~
After resigning from the part-time job, I traveled around Sydney almost everyday. I got my skin tanned. More than that, I got two of my arms totally burnt
as well-cooked lobster, though I used cream. The summer sun in Australia is too
strong! I went to Blue Mountains the day before yesterday, a one-day tour. The
roads on mountains are zigzagging, and I felt very sick. I didn’t want to eat anything, and wanted to throw up even after returning home. With this condition,
I don’t think I will fully enjoy myself even I make the long journey to Melbourne.
Life is always incomplete. I’m that kind of person pursuing perfect and
often set strict demands, but this time, I still have to yield to reality. Hopefully, I will be able to travel to Melbourne some other day in the not distant future. By the way, I will try to write about my journey around Australia after coming back home.
Joan 1/8/2005 in Sydney
