It has been an uneventful month...you went back to France for Christmas and you
came back.I know, i was really cold when u first came back. i was too busy, and
overloaded, to even spare a few minutes to update each other of what is going on
.i am exhausted, le poisson. i am so burnt out that, i felt as if speaking an additional word will waste the time of speaking that word which i could have invested on doing completing the task you assigned me. There seems to be no one else
that could help me with whatever i am working on. Is that really the case? or is
it just that my stuborn and arrogant characteristics that stop me from asking for help from others? a perfectionist that has high demands on oneself, just like
the way you do. that explain that phrase that says bird of feather s flocks together.i guess you were offended that you tried making time to chat with us but i
gave you cold treatment...i wish i could have explained..but given that there are so much to be done, i really didnt have time to explain.
you got grumpier, so do i.pressure we get from all around us is greater and greater with various types of deadlines to be met, meetings to be taken place.templates to be designed, documentations to be verified and approved, datas and figures to be validated etc etc etc.. life drawn us apart, further and further.the environment was tensed, and misunderstanding got greater when u expressed yourself
with your limited english vocabulary source, that sounded as if you are instructing me to complete certain task, and the way you saw the NE PAS DERANGER post it
on my table, i guess you would have thought that i left the post it there to make u stay away? and the way final exam is just around the corner made me feel like as if i am getting my arse greased that i couldnt finish designing templates
after templates and help setting internal control procedures and implement sytems after systems..and despite numerous discussions and bargain you had with boss,
he still insist that we develope the tool as he requested, you have no choice but to force that on me, i felt betrayed, that you didnt help me as much as i hoped, and i felt being cornered by you because you force the task on me despite you knew it well that it wont be an easy thing for me in addition to whatever task
that i am witholding. task seem unfinished and i hardly have any time to allocate for my revisions, what is worse is that i am yet to receive the revision text
..i felt anxious, worried, stressed up, you name it.. life really drawn us so far apart that...i do not want to see ur face over lunch time, and i dont think you would wanna see mine either.
till that day, despite being exhausted trying really hard juggling between revising and working, and keeping up with work standard despite i am really short of
sleep, my fav person turn up in the office. if ever there is someone in that i see will make my day straight away, that would be her (apart from my good old mates like mirv, james, bugenz of course). i was so excited and overwhelmed that i
stick my head into your office and asked you if you wanted to meet her...i saw you busy typing emails, to chase up for data submission perhaps, but i guess you
couldnt resist my invitation given that i had been given you cold treatment since you were back and i had, infact, very carefully kept a safety distance between
us.i was cold, i knew, politely cold towards you. i suppose u couldnt resist how warm my invitation is and you offered your support by meeting my favourite lady. i can see that given how shy you are, it has not been an easy task for you especially proven by the fact that both yours and the lady's face grown as red as
tomato.
during lunch, you timidly asked if i had time to eat..i knew i could have rejected you, but i also knew the consequence of that, i could have lost the opportunity to mend this whole thing, and i would not know when would be the next opportunity to do it again. afterall, opportunity doesnt come by easily nor on a very frequent basis. we ended up went out for lunch, i knew and i saw your effort of trying to mend this whole mess. unless u were putting on ur mask, but i saw from
your body language, i saw it from the way you have your eye contacts..it is a warmer version of you..a warmer version, a friendlier version that i like of you,
as compare to cold stoney one in your aquarium, you know what i mean..
i tried avoiding you in the office in front of colleagues..i didnt want them to
know that we are on good terms again, despite there is really nothing much to be
hidden. but..it is just that i am feeling very insecure with mankind' curiosity
and the way rumour flies around..i tried avoiding you and tried avoid talking to you, i keep our conversation short....
je suis content that we ended up spending that evening together for a short moment over dinner, where we continued where we left at the chine restaurant, different conversation topic, but definitely a very enjoyable moment. today, the crunch time, the very moment that i suppose to submit the project i was working on..we had long meetings...it's perhaps the fact that it is public holiday tomorrow..
u were in very good mood despite tight deadlines, despite turkey is arriving on
monday and turkey will be demanding with deadlines and submission..but you were
still in good mood ..we had long meetings in discussing and finalizing the from
the very root concept to the detailed presentations of the file and the distribution and compilation of it. i like the way we had meetings today, it wasnt too heavy and yet we get to discuss the main points...with jokes insertion here and there..and we ended up having quick and short lunch downstairs..
i could never express enuff how much i enjoyed the recent moments i had with you
..i pray that this would be long lasting. bonsoir ma patron.
