This is a regurgitation to the topic of Romantic Love.
I have been married for almost fourteen years so perhaps I can share something worthwhile. It was the deep, passionate and romantic love that led me into marrying my dream girl. It was love at first sight for us and to this day that love is
still deeply rooted in my heart. Throughout the courtship I was a very romantic
man. I gave fancy watch, fresh bouquets and fancy dinners with frowning. We went out for a bit over one year before we finally got married. Up until now I am
still convinced that my wife is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life. We now have a boy and a girl and I try very hard to provide for the family.
My wife has been complaining that ever since the birth of my son, I have gradually become dull and unromantic, and, read this: nonchalant! And I’ve heard the some complaints from many married women.
What they have to realize is that we are not young and energetic fellows who run
around seeking love and companionship anymore. We have a slew of financial and
moral obligations to fulfill. We don’t just have to provide for the everyday needs of the family but we also have to plan and save for the future. For married
men, keeping romantic love afresh is no longer the central theme in our lives, keeping the family afloat is. When so many aspects of a family life require our focus and attendance, is it fair to ask that we still devote a big chunk of our energy to keeping the romance anew? Frankly just keeping a roof over the head of
our family and putting food (sometimes Peking ducks) on the table already completely exhaust us, not to mention the need to plan and save for the future. I can’
t imagine a man who’s constantly attending to myriad of romantic matters can duly fulfill his responsibilities, as well as the next unromantic, dull but responsible and loyal man, in other areas for his family. This is a give and take situation, and married women just have to know, or learn to know, when to feel content and appreciative, and when to keep the mouth shut and keep the smile hanging.
The way I see it, when we are totally committed to bigger and better goals in life, when we’re working so darn hard to build a better future for the entire family, and hardly have enough time to sleep, we should be excused from being dull
and unromantic. We should be forgiven even if we missed the wedding anniversary
day or forgot the wife’s birthday. Or that we did remember to record the dates
in our computer but the darn software malfunctioned. It’s totally unfair to expect us to remember the wife’s birthday when we are so swamped we didn’t even remember to celebrate our own! It’s totally absurd to send us to the doghouse just for that!
If you are given the chance to have a bunch of roses now or a rose garden some thirty years from now, which one would you choose? A dollar in your hand is better than a pot of gold in the bush? That may not be the case.
I rest my case!
Neil
