Dear Laozhang, Helen, and any others who may be interested in the subjects she and Helen raised in their replies and in some of the other topics here.
Laozhang, my name is Mary. It is a woman's name. Mark is a name for a male. Sometimes people here also address me as Marky. That also would be a male name.
My code name on articles is Maryk. That is because my brother David who founded this forum gave me that name himself when he invited me here. However, my first name by which I am called by my husband and my friends is Mary.
Your long reply is very easy to understand. You have errors, of course, but they don't make your message hard to understand. Any foreign person, not Chinese, would understand your post.
Regarding English usage: word "kid" for a young child, and up to about the teen
years is slang. It is alright to use it occasionally, but not often. It soundscrude and lower class to use it often. Never use it in any slightly more formal
context. It's a bit of a tricky word to use and get away with sometimes.
You shared what you perceive are two differences between people of the East and
people of the West. In reply to you I would say that my perception of Chinese both here in my country and from what I read on the forum is that Chinese people
are diligent students and workers. Quite a lot of Chinese people are entrepreneurial. Dave36China, one of our forum members is very much so. They either begin their own businesses here, or make one they buy better. I have found them very intelligent and likeable. Of course, such general conclusions about Chinese are not true of all. Just as the general observations you made about Westerners
in regards to business is not true of all. Maybe even not most.
As factory jobs and office jobs have disappeared here because they have gone overseas, (and many more are leaving here all the time,) individuals have had to adjust and swim, or they would sink. In my father's time, men used to go into a job and have it for their entire life. They could depend on it. Now, nobody can
depend on anything much. They have often had to turn to service industry jobs which don't pay very well. Their standard of living drops. That makes people suffer, and it also makes some become more resilient. It makes many people here afraid, too. You will find the same thing may happen in China some day if companies begin to pull out and go where they will be able to pay even cheaper wages.
It is a great pity, but I suppose there is some larger wisdom in it.
Eventually there probably won't be any place left where wages can be so very, very cheap. Eventually there may be legally upheld international standards regarding job safety, preservation of environment and guaranteed minimum living wages and standards around the world. Eventually there may a gold standard again, to which all currencies are pegged. Then there will be no more currency speculating and the world's economies will become much more stable. Eventually there will be many things. We live now.
The whole world is going through great readjustments during our years. There is
more and more to come, so try to learn how to land on your feet. Try not to have debts. If things suddenly go bad for you it is surprising how small an amount of money owed can cause great trouble. Ben and I learned that, and now we stay as debt-free as possible. I believe your old people know that, but many will
try to sell to the young ones on the basis of little down, and low interest. Be
very careful of this because trouble comes when world conditions cause interest
rates to have to raised again. Then many people lose homes, or cars. Sadly enough, that is the time to pick up bargains. I myself don't have the heart for it. I'd rather live another way, which is by being content with what we have and
not needing the latest things or to keep up with others, or to show off to them
.
Try "not to carry all your eggs in one basket." Try to have "more than one string to your bow." I hope you enjoy these very pertinent sayings. :-) I guess you know the first one means not to have all the places your money comes from be
only one. The second means, of course, to be able to do more than one thing, so
that if you lose that one thing you can change over to do another.
Back to a little English lesson for you both, Helen and Laozhang: please notice
that capital letters must be used wherever they belong throughout a whole post,
from beginning to end, and not be forgotten when you become tired near the end.
:-)
Probably you are right about Chinese people not thinking that a child can understand. That was the old way here once, too. This may be because of many troubles in the past century in China. Troubles that caused splits in families, and so
much difficulty that the old ways were still left in place. I think you will find that what children hear, even when they can't speak yet themselves, is important. The good they hear from babyhood onward will help their character. The gossip and back-biting they hear will make them unable to trust others and may also cause them to get these very bad habits themselves.
They are such bad habits because they are so hurtful and also because they dampend the joy in hearts, including in the heart of the one who does it. They cut trust between people. They are extremely disunifying. Other people, even those
who listen or take part often quietly think -- "if they can say that about him,
what do they say about me when I'm not around?" So be careful of the kind of diet of adult conversation your children are exposed to!
Well, I have replied to you two via a root post because I think others will also
be interested in these economic, social and child-raising topics. I hope I'm right. I was also glad to see that you understood that there was also a pretty good look at a Western family's ways and some other ways of the West through that
kind of post. I think it gives you valuable background understanding and it's
easier to convey the way I have done through my stories and examples than it is
just to try to describe the culture by itself.
Thank you both for replying and letting me know how my post was received by you.
It helped me very much to know that I'm not perceived as boasting. I really don't think boasting is part of my personality and I abhor it. I wouldn't want to be perceived that way. If I were I would need to change my style of writing here. So thank you very much for your response.
Warmly, and with my very best wishes to you both, Mary
