Dear Eyer, (and any others who are suffering).
You wrote of how hard it is for you to keep from crying when people ask you about how you and your dear husband is doing during his illness.
I imagine it would help if you were to prepare a little note to keep in your pocket to give to people who ask you about how he's doing. In it you could say that you are glad they asked. Say that it is easier for you to reply this way. Tell what you want to about how things are going for both of you. Sign it with your gratitude for their concern and care.
This will help you not to have to talk and rake your inner wound open when you have things you need to accomplish, yet it won't turn them away. Have more than
one copy so if more than one person per day asks, you can give one to each, with
a smile. That's what I would do, I'm quite sure. Of course, only do this if you feel comfortable with it.
Your lives at such young ages have been harder than those of many other young people. I can see from what you described in your latest post that you both are strong, loving and noble people. Because you are this kind you will find great happiness in the next stage of life in the next world when your times come. There is no difference between men and women there. Marrying and burying and having
children take place in this world, not in the next. In the next world when we
find out more about the journey we are on we will be extremely grateful to our parents for having given us life for such a wonderful and unending trip.
You and your husband are so loving of each other, his father, and you are best friends, and I believe that you will become companion souls through all the worlds of God. This world we're in now is just the second material world after the world of the womb which can be called the first world. The level of existence there is not ub a physical and material world full of pain and troubles as this one is.
We each need to wait until our time to go on, because otherwise we will arrive therelike a guest to a party who hasn't been invited. I am saying this to you, dear Eyer. It is for the sake of any other here who reads this, and is suffering
. They might think they want to cut their life short, themselves, and go straight on to that happier place. It is not allowed to take our own lives so that we
can skip life and lessons here and go straight on to the next level of life. To do that is like taking a rosebud and pulling the petals open with your fingers
, before it is ready to open. It would damage rosebud. The rosebud needs to open naturally and normally, when the time is right. It is the same with a person
's soul. It needs to progress naturally.
The life to come is as different from this world as this world is from the very
small and restricted womb world inside our mothers, where we were before we were
born. There we grew all the abilities we needed to live in this wider world of
light, air and beauty. In this world, with its tests and rewards we learn the spiritual qualities that are needed for the next stage of life. I think you and your husband are already well endowed with capacities needed there. Before he passes on you both will have gained many more.
He will be very happy there and will watch over you and I believe will miss you
both, but he will know that you all will one day, when the right time comes, be
with him where there is no more physical body to cause such distress and pain.
The next life is described as paradise and heaven because there the will of God
is done. Here, the will of God is not usually done by humans who are still maturing as a species, and here we are given free will in many ways, so that we can
learn and grow as needed, and sort ourselves out for life at the next level. In
the next world we don't have free will to make our choices. It is the will of God that rules there. That will is always compassionate, just, merciful, loving and so on. Therefore it is a happy existence and as much greater an
existence as this world was to the world of the womb.
Your husband can look forward to great happiness and to being with his father and others who love him. As for you, dear Eyer, you will need to be here and strong for your darling little girl. Thank God you have a good and supportive network of friends. Your life will go ahead until it is your time, in God's good time, to leave here and go on.
It will be important not to wildly grieve your husband's leaving, because that will cause him grief in the next life and will hold back his progress. Of course
you will grieve, but it is best not to cling to grief and to grieve wildly and
for a very long time.
You both are under great strain. However, my dear Eyer, it is not all for nothing. And it is not the end for you two. I send you my deep caring affection and
will continue to pray for strength for you, your good husband, and your families.
These are my very firm convictions and those of many other people down through the ages, and I'm happy that they can reassure and comfort you, dear girl.
Warmly, Mary
