Dear Sevensleak,
Please read carefully the root article I wrote yesterday to Feihuasiming and
others. The words about punctuation, capital letters and paragraphing apply
to your written English, too. Right now, to correct these things is your greatest need. When you make these simple additions, your written English will immediately jump to a more professional level.
The article you write needs polishing. I have done that for you. First it is
necessary, as you have done, to capture all of your thoughts. Next comes thecareful polishing. I think you will see what I mean when you read your article
as polished. Remember when you polish, the first thing to determine is what kind of a thing you are writing.
Is it a letter? Is it an essay? What is it? Then you make sure to remain consistent throughout to the form you have chosen. Your article appears to be part
essay and part letter to the forum. I have set it up as an essay becauseI left off the words that address it to someone and the complimentary ending and
signature. However, as it directly asks for help to clarify your thoughts so that part remains more like a letter. It is better not to mix the two types. Below I explained the difference again. There are various kinds of prose and poetry, fiction and non-fiction. Be sure to remain consistent to whatever you have
chosen to write.
Here is your corrected article:
*********
I was a three-year student majoring in international business until recently. Ihave been at home for nearly a month now since I graduated from university on 23th June, 2005 and I find myself at a bit of a loss because I have no clear idea
which road I should choose now: work, or further study. Can you help me to clarify my thoughts?
I did very well in the three-year program of study and could be called a
straight-A student. I was able to pass all exams without much effort, whether final exams or the cet-6, although my marks in _________[?] were not very high.
[Please explain the seeming contradiction. First you said you
were a straight-A student, and then you said that your marks
were not very high. Which marks weren't very high?]
Classmates admired me since I wasn't required to go to evening class and there
was no need for me to learn the boring vocabulary of cet-4 or cet-6. Only I knew
the trouble that confronted me: I am stuck in middle level English because I
haven't made much progress since I passed all the exams in English which that university had to offer. I can easily read a difficult article, but I don't yet have all the skills to write an easily flowing article myself. I admire very much
those friends here who post their wonderful articles. I see that sentence structure and grammar are well-organized and I am able to analyze their usage of tense
and structure, but I am not able to write articles of similar quality yet myself. What can I do?
To be a translator has always been one of my dreams, but I know clearly that there is yet a long distance to travel in order to realize that dream.
What can I do? What can I do to attain you, my beautiful dream?
*********
One thing I noticed as I checked your post is that you used redundant words.
English is often a crisp language even when it isn't, if you have already said something you don't need to add another word that says the same thing. Please keep this in mind as you read your corrected article.
Another thing to keep in mind is what kind of a post you are writing. If you
ask for help, then you are writing a letter. It should begin with a salutation
and end with a complimentary ending and signature. If you are writing an article then you need to be less personal. Don't use so many possessive words like me
and mine and so on. For an article you don't begin with a salutation and end with a comnplimentary ending. You do it as I have presented your article.
You need to be clear just what level of communication you are writing. Then
follow through in the same spirit all the way. Don't mix personal communication
that asks
for help with an essay. A defined focus will help you very much with your wording.
After you have written an article you need to go over it several times with a
fine tooth comb to refine it and remove any unnecessary words. In some places you may need a few more evocative or descriptive words to dress it up and make it
more potent. Incidentally, your final two sentences were a good rhetoricalquestion and made an excellent ending for an essay. The way they are worded is
not personal as it would be in a letter. That is how the previous two questions
also need to be worded so that they aren't so personal. Try, and let me see what you decide might work. :-)
A translator needs to be extremely accurate. Great matters, even war and
destruction could hang on whether words are translated as accurately as possible
, or not. You need to be very fast when you are a verbal translator
to be able to keep up with the flow of the original language. You must have a mind that can focus completely and ignore everything extraneous to what you are hearing and your instantaneous translation. Side remarks from hecklers, for instance, must not distract you.
Although this may look very dramatic it is actually accurately reporting the words of others. How much of a creative person are you? Would you be happy working with the words of others, instead of your own ideas?
Your country needs excellent, well-trained minds. Yours seems to be capable of
much higher education, from my understanding of what you have written. If you
are able to easily absorb new information and to work with it in your own way then I think you could shoot for the stars in whatever subject is your own true first love.
Whatever you find easy is what you should do for for your further studies. It
would be a pity to stop your education now if you can afford to go further. Astudent who can easily pass exams without much study should be able to continue
and do very well in more advanced studies, especially if that students is able
to do concentrated study when it needs to be done. That is very important. Ifyou can't do it, you had better learn before you go any further with your education. As long as you can absorb new information easily, then I think you should
probably go on to further your education.
Of course, it depends on your own interests. If you feel you want to get to workand learn on the job, then maybe now is the time to join a company in a
position that will further your strengths. If you feel that you prefer a more academic milieu and you can afford to study, then by all means go ahead to get more advanced degrees in your field of interest. Be sure that your interest is really yours, and not something that others, or your culture, signals to you is most prestigious. I don't believe you can make a mistake if you continually follow your own interests and talents.
I am a Canadian living in Canada and am always immersed in English, so it is
second nature for me to write good English, as I'm sure it is for you to write excellent Mandarin. If you decide to continue your interest in English you need
now to immerse your mind in well written native English. Read every day. Read
about what interests you. If your interest is prose, then read English prose daily, so that correct English usage and word order begin to form patterns in your
mind. Eventually you will be able to write similarly, without the need to deconstruct each sentence as you write it in order to be assured of grammatical accuracy. You will only check grammar later when you find some problem rough spot in the article which seems to need closer attention.
Follow your talents and interests, then you will be very good at whatever you
decide to do.
I have one more caution. Think about whether you will be happy with the kind ofpositions open to you from higher education in your field. For instance here aperson who takes a Masters in Business is very acceptable in the business world.
A person who takes a Ph.D in a specialized area of interest in business isprobably aiming to become a university professor. Here the rule "publish or perish" still exists for professors. If you don't want to be under pressure to
write professional texts and articles, then you might be better off to stop at the Masters degree and go into the business world by joining a large company.
This is just an example. The same caution will apply in other fields in different ways. Be sure to "look before you leap."
You'll need to investigate this thoroughly for yourself. Now that you know some
of the kinds of things you'll need to concentrate on I think you'll be glad to
have this free time to investigate further to make sure that you make as wise a
decision as possible. In my own words before I began to investigate and think Iwould ask God, the Great Spirit, (or whatever you feel comfortable with as the Highest Good, above humans,)to help me find my way. Then, when I felt I had
made my decision after investigating thoroughly I would ask again that I should
be successful in it if it was the best decision for all, and that I be protected
from it if it wasn't the best decision. Then, I would proceed with full confidence and remain aware of how things are turning out. I think this is the very
best way to proceed with any big and important decision. It's a good thing you
have the time now to do what it will take to make a wise decision for your future. :-)
Best wishes, Mary
