Dear Ann-Angelia,
You asked a very, very important question. I would like to try to reply.
I think a woman is wise to plan to be able to rely on herself. After all, you
don't know if you will marry. If you marry your husband may die, or you may findyou must part. Therefore it is safer if you are able to rely on yourself. Theidea that women are frail, pretty little creatures is hampering to a woman's
development. We need to be strong and capable, both for ourselves, our possible
children, our possible marriages, and for our country.
Women and men are becoming equal in "opportunities, rights and privileges." This is the ideal to which we strive in my country, Canada. There is still a way to go, but this is the future; rather than helpless dependency and getting along
on sweet charm, which when it fades leaves serving old women.
I would like to say that to think that *all* men are no good has to be a
mistake. People will always vary within any group. There are still good men out there.
As a woman in China now you find yourself in a rather unique position. In China many people have still felt that their welfare in old age and their prestige
as a family depends on having a son. Therefore, now that it is possible to knowthe sex before birth fewer girls have been allowed to live in relatively recentyears and there are now many more boys than girls. That means that there is a shortage of girls, doesn't it?
Therefore, my dear women friends, don't forget that you are in demand. It is
not good that this is the case, but it is to your advantage right now. Men are
in excess numbers, so you have many to choose from. Choose well for yourselves.
Don't jump too soon. As far as is possible find a mate and his family who will treat you with honour, and not as a second class citizen.
Men, since there are not going to be enough women to go around, it appears that
you are going to need to think about the kind of man a good woman would want to
link her life with, and become that kind of man. Really and truly become such aperson and you will find a good life mate. If not, you may not find a womanat all who will love you, and be your best friend, and bear your child. Think
about it. You Chinese men have been called to excellence by these simple
circumstances.
I hope all the males on this forum become excellent people, and all the females
on the forum become self-respecting, self-reliant and mature. Become wise,
gentle and capable mothers, wives and citizens. Demonstrate the way to choose to live to your own children. Be strong. Be good. Become an excellent generation in the great, continuing history of your family and your land.
Warmly and with very best wishes, Mary
