An Aphorism
It is not the strongest of the species that survive,
but the one most responsive to change.
--Charles Darwin
I went for another interview yesterday, and it was a shame that I let my friend
down. I didn’t reach his expectation, including my own, to impress the interviewer at the training center. Walking out the ring of people at the place, I had never felt so frustrated and despondent. And when I arrived home, at one point I
tried so hard to hide my despondence from my friend but ended in failure.
I simply couldn’t. I wept so hard on my friend’s shoulders and failed to chin
up no matter how hard he tried. It was not just because of this single interview that made me down. It was several. I couldn’t understand why people shun me out in the first place, only because I didn’t major in English at school. I couldn’t see why I sent out so many applying-for-job E-mails but got such a low proportion of reply. And I couldn’t figure out what my contingency plan could be,
if the teaching business and hunting for part time job didn’t work eventually.
I told my friend that I hated sending out application E-mails in the morning. I
hated myself to become fidgety because of uncertainty. I had bought several books home, but up so far I haven’t finished any of them. The anxiety of finding a
job hobbled my interest for reading. Also, I hated to talk to people who bugged
my friend and me continuously every time when we went to the park. They buttonholed my friend at their will in order to practice their English. We didn’t have
privacy any more.
Looking back to the recent past, I am thinking that maybe I am not ready for this. I took interviews too personally to let them go. I bookmarked every failure that I struggled though and chewed over it afterwards. I became crestfallen so readily and wept so frequently that I doubted if I was indeed as mentally strong
as I thought. And because diffidence grew each time I got negative feedback, little by little, I even became skeptical that my friend was just trying to be nice
, when he told me I was great and I was able to achieve anything if I intended to try with resolution.
I begin to put myself in my friend’s shoes. I imagine if I were he what I would
feel? His mother has been working her ass off in order to sell out those bicycles we shipped to England. She came across the same detriment as we did: marketing and sales. We all know that what we offer to people is what they want: Quality
sells. So what remain us to do is merely to let what we offer heard,acknowledged, and acclaimed,. Having said that, we all have in mind it isn't an easy task.
Actually it is damn difficult.
But what can do about it? Running your own business with small capital means that you have to become somewhat a Jack of all trades. You have to get prepared for every thing, expected and unexpected. I thought I was ready for this. But apparently I am not. That I felt bad was because it was hard and because I hadn’t achieved much lately. I wanted to have a part time to alleviate my anxiety. But come to think about it, in this world nothing was easy. Unless I get more prepared and adaptable, I suppose it is likely that I will fall into failure everywhere
. I should well remember it afterwards.
