Dear Neil, Qiu Yi,
I'm glad I finally found your post at last! It took Pan's help and the help of the seach function on the forum. :-)
It's great to have you here Neil, and I hope you will be able to take a lot of part in the forum. As for your accent, I find accents interesting and charming. As long as a person is able to be clearly understood I don't think accents are any problem. There are so many people with accents here in Canada anyway, that one more or less doesn't make any difference, does it? Ben still has some of his German accent, and he easily gives talks. He almost always does them after reading up on his material and then speaking extemporaneously. I always worry more and prepare a lot more than he does. In the early days when he had been in Canada only a couple of years he joined the Niagara Falls Junior Chamber of Commerce. They had a public speaking course and that's where he learned how to give talks. He came in second in the final competition, and his good friend, a Scot named Charlie came in first.
It is a pleasure for me to be allowed to take part in the forum. I think you will find it that way, too. I'm not doing it just to be a helper. I'm having fun with it. That's the way it should be. Here's something I can do, and I like to do it, too!
You can understand the difficulties of the friends here with learning English and I can, too. I admire them very much. Even those who don't yet write very well know much more than I do about Chinese, and Chinese is a language that is completely different from English. It was much easier for Ben to learn English than it was for you, or it is for them. I think I have caught some glimpses of Chinese behind some of their English words and it seems to be a beautifully poetic language. I'm glad you have been able to hang onto it. That's quite an accomplishment. Two of our four children can speak German. Their father didn't try much to teach them. In his case, he came here as soon as he could after the terrible war and he wanted to put memories of Germany behind him and build a new life here,away from all that. He was only fourteen when the war ended and things weren't very good even when he came at 21 when he could get parental consent to leave. I glad to be able to say that he is more at ease with his birth country now than he was then.
I've had quite a lot of experience in public speaking but it still can make me very nervous, especially when a long time passes between requests for talks. The last time I had to give a public talk I didn't feel I could cope with the pressure, so I worked long and hard until I produced a written talk that I marked up for precise emphasis and pauses, by practising it over and over out loud and deciding exactly how I wanted to say each word and phrase. I put it all on numbered file cards on a ring, so that nothing could go wrong and I couldn't drop them and get them out of order.
The trick is to be able to glance down, take in a sentence or so at a glance, and then deliver it in a natural speaking voice, with no sound of reading in your voice, as you look at the people. This is very useful. When I have given note free talks I back them up by plenty of research, and appear with the books in my hands in a stack, with paper slips in place. They give me confidence. I expect they also give the audience confidence, and I can instantly produce references if needed. I refer to a quote from a book and then talk around it. I usually have the paper slips numbered and a sheet with a skeletal outline of the pattern of the talk on it with the numbered slips in their order noted. That way I keep on track. The most important part of such a talk is the opening and the closing. Both need to be strong. I usually write both of them down so that if I get nervous I can't blow the talk.
I have twice delivered fully prepared and read talks, and could easily give the same talks tomorrow, in the same way with the same emphasis on certain words, and pauses, even after years have passed. This can never happen with an off-the-cuff talk of course. It may be useful to you if you need to give the same address a number of times in different places to different audiences. After the last one, I was asked for copies and it was posted on the internet. It was given before a lot of city and provincial officials, among others, and one councillor apologized for not having prepared a formal talk after he heard mine. I'm not telling you this to brag, but rather to emphasize that this is a way that can work for a nervous speaker who can read quickly, and express his read words naturally. I hope it will help you.
It takes a lot more preparation time, of course. However, you will be able to find the words you want to use in advance, so your vocabulary can be everything you could desire. Everything is under control, so you feel much more relaxed. Afterwards, if there are questions, they are easier to handle as you know your topic well, and the pressure is off. People expect you to answer questions more casually.
Part of the trick with large crowds is just to feel that you are talking to one person. This is not a person you actually see. It isn't even someone you know. It is the ideal listener. It is the one you feel in your heart. You felt this person in your heart when you prepared the talk. This person you feel is interested in what you have to say. This way you can stay warm and confident, and not get distant. Thinking of talking to everybody is just too much to manage. If you talk to the one ideal listener you also talk to everybody, so each person feels like you are talking to them. It works beautifully. I think you must have learned something about this in Dale Carnegie. We had a very dear friend from Alberta named Angus Cowan, who swore by Dale Carnegie. I once went to Toastmasters and it was very helpful.
In the summer when you come west I hope you will be able to visit us. Do you know yet how to use the message string here? That way we can get in touch privately and I can give you some further information. I'll send you a message today.
Would you prefer that I address you as Neil or as Qiu Yi? I too hope to meet some of the other forum friends one of these fine days. I think there is that possibility. :-)
Thank you for your welcome good wishes for 2004. I wish you the same: health, happiness and prosperity.
I'm glad to have a new friend in you, Neil, and I look forward to knowing you better through more of your posts on the forum. :-)
Best wishes, Mary
