At the end of April, I found I was in low spirit. I became easily irritable and upset. To make the matter worse, I thought I lived a “hard” life during these years. I didn’t know how to deal with my life. However, people can’t see my innermost feeling. Because I’m an open-minded woman I smile and talk happily with them every day. Though I’m eager to relieve my pressure with my close friends, I cannot do this. I’m fearing it will take them unhappiness, perhaps they will show their sympathy. What a shame! As a matter of fact, I was at a loss. Of course, I have a happy family. My husband and I love deeply each other. And we have a lovely and cute daughter. If my husband doesn’t quit his job fromthe bank, we can live an easy and happy life every minute. The problem is that he quit his job after our marrying. His reason, at that time, is that he didn’tlike the job lacking of challenge. He would like to create his own small business. As for me, I didn’t want to see my dear lose his interest in his career. Since he decided to change his role, I had no reason to let him down, I thought. These years he has been struggling to succeed in his business, unfortunately, he always failed. As a result, we are in debt now. Maybe the sum is small for others, just about 200,000 yuan, but it makes my darling disappointed and depressed during April. He is a gentle and kind man, but at that time, he became very sad and impatient, sometimes, he racked his brain for the present situation and didn’t find his way. I had nothing to help him, only tried my best to support our family, to tell the truth, if he just stays at home, I can easily support us.Being a husband he is wonderful except for money. He felt deeply sorry about his choice. He thought he had given me a more wonderful life. However,everything went roughly. We had a rough time during these years. Luckily, we all don’t lose heart. We encourage each other and communicate with each other, especially, when he was almost in despair. I’m always trying my best to give him a hand. You know, I have no idea how to earn much money, but I can comfort him and love him when he was in need of my support. I believe he will be successful one day. Even if he will not be a lucky dog, I will make him feel the life beautiful as before. So, in April, I remembered the conversation between us lasted at least six hours at night when our daughter went to sleep. We expressed ourselves calmly and frankly. I told him that I am not a material woman, for me, I think, spiritual gains will be more valuable. Most important thing is mutual understanding and common effort between a married couple. Yes. Money is pretty important and tempting. But money is not everything. I let him know he is my dearest husband however the world changes. And I played a joke on him, if he is a millionaire now, maybe I will choose to leave him alone. At last, he laughed. He knows he must have confidence in his own ability. Also he knows he will not lose his wife whenever and wherever. Now things go smoothly, though we still don’t find our way to make a fortune. What do you think if you were us?
2004-05-19
